Triton's Destiny

Part Thirty-Three

Tristan had spent so much time on the lighthouse patio in the past few days that he was beginning to wonder if he should just sleep out there. When he wasn't in town delivering messages, tending to the lighthouse or the aviary, or catching the little bit of sleep his body would allow him, he was sitting outside, scanning the endless ocean waters for any sign of Maki. It had been four days without any word from his partner and Tristan was getting worried.

He tried not to overthink it, tried not to obsess over what the silence could mean, but he couldn't help wondering if Maki had decided not to come back. Tristan wouldn't blame him if he had–it's not like he had a lot to offer him–but it still made him contemplate all the time he'd spent with Maki and if there was anything he'd done wrong. But he couldn't think of anything and Maki had always seemed happy to be with him. So he was left with the hollow feeling of uncertainty he was currently experiencing.

Preparing the lighthouse basement for Maki had managed to keep Tristan busy and focused for a couple of days but there wasn't much more he could do without his mate's input. He was excited to show it to Maki and went to the sea cave with his message bottle as soon as it was ready. But the triton either wasn't checking for messages or had seen Tristan's message and chosen not to come. Tristan didn't want to think about what that meant. He didn't know what he'd do without Maki. He felt just as lost now as he had when his parents died.

Propping his elbows on his knees, he held his head in his hands, staring down at the ripples in the water. If he could just talk to Maki, tell him again how much he loved him, and reiterate that he didn't have to give up anything for him, maybe they could work it out in a way they could both be happy. But Tristan also knew that if Maki told him he wanted to return to his underwater life, Tristan would let him go. It would absolutely kill him, but he'd do it. Maki's happiness was the most important thing to him.

A soft splash sounded in the water but Tristan ignored it. His heart had leapt with excitement at the sound too many times over the last few days that he'd stopped hoping he'd look up and see exactly what he wanted. But when a shiny green bottle slid into his lap, right in his line of sight, his head snapped up instantly. "Maki..."

The triton offered him a soft, apologetic smile. "Hi, Tristan."

His head spinning with relief and joy, Tristan took Maki's hands and clutched them tightly. "Maki! Oh my gods..."

Biting his lip, Maki hung his head. "I missed you. And I'm sorry."

Sorry? Sorry for what? Tristan's joy tumbled into panic. Why was Maki sorry? Had he come to say goodbye? Suddenly, all the things he'd wanted to say for the past few days fell out of his mouth in a confusing, rambling jumble. "I missed you too, Maki. I... I didn't know what to do. I know you needed time, but I didn't expect..." He grunted and shook his head. "It doesn't matter what I expected. You're here now and I... Maki. Please. I love you. Let me help you figure it out. I'll do anything you need. You don't have to give up anything for me. I just... Please. Please don't say goodbye."

"Tristan, I–" Maki shook his head, his expression tormented, like he couldn't bear to tell Tristan the truth.

"No!" The breath hitched in Tristan's chest as he felt his heart splinter. "No, please!" He curled in a self-protective hunch and his forehead dropped to rest against Maki's knuckles. "Please. Please don't go." He felt hot tears slip from the corners of his eyes and track down his cheeks.

"Oh, sweetheart." Maki's arms went around him as Tristan buried his face in his hands and cried. "I'm so sorry I did this to you."

Tristan was lost in his panic and despair, shallow breaths making his head light as his tears flowed freely. "Maki, please... Please. I made it so you could stay. Please don't leave me."