Paul drove me and Jax to his apartment and I opened the door to the passenger seat. "So you're not staying home tonight?" Paul asked and I shook my head following Jax with my eyes while he stepped out of Paul's car. "I'll be home tomorrow" I said and Paul nodded. "Dad is not going to be happy" He mumbled and I ignored what he said and closed the door.
The ground was damp, like it just rained outside while we where at the station. I ran up to Jax. "Call Paul and tell him to turn back" Jax said and I looked up. His hood where covering the most parts of his face you I could hear the coldness in his voice. "What? Did you forget anything" I asked and tried to gently grab his hand as a calming gesture, but he shook me away. My smile faded away. "Ashley I can't fucking deal with this right now!" He said and waved his hands at us. "What are you talking about?" I asked. And he stoped walking and looked at me,
"I got arrested for murder!" He said and I looked away. "I don't understand, you're innocent, and you're free now" I said and looked back up at him. "That's not it! I'm tired of trying to be better, I'm tired of everything, all this is exhausting. Every time I want to do something or even speak I need to think twice making sure my decision don't hurt you!" He yelled. I looked up when I felt the first raindrop touch my face. Of course. Rain, I'm not surprised!
"Jax..-" I begun but he interrupted me. "Everywhere I go I se their fucking faces, they're staring at me, they're disappointed in me" He said and took one step closer to me. "Who...?" I asked while trying to be calming, but I'm failing.
"It was today... he said and I could see how he clenched his fits he wanted to hit something. And he did. I didn't have the time to hinder him when he's fist out of nowhere hit the wall next to us. I stepped in in front of him. I grabbed his hand, blood was ringing down from knuckles. "What the fuck Jax, tell me what's going on! Please!" I said and he looked down at me.
"It was today, they fucking died this day, three years ago!" He hissed and looked down at his bloody hand. "Who?" I asked and he sighed. "My parents Ashley." He said coldly.
°°°
I lead him to the bathroom. "You don't have to do this, you can just leave" He mumbled and I pushed him down at the toilet making him sit in a hight where I easier could clean his hand. "We need to get this clean" I said and grabbed one of the towels and wetted it.
He closed his eyes when I as gently as I cloud tried to clean the wounds on his hand. They where deep, he must have been hitting the wall quite hard. I didn't say anything, I didn't know if he wanted to talk about what he told me outside in the rain. But just like he could read y mind he opened his eyed and looked at me. "My mother had cancer" He mumbled, "She was a young mother, my dad got her pregnant when she was only eighteen and they decided to keep me, they where a lovely couple" I looked down at him, I didn't know what to say. "She was too young to die, and when my father found out that she had cancer he changed, he turned to an ice-cold man with no emotions, he never talked to me, he came home drunk every night trying to drown his sorrow in alcohol and drugs. He left my mom fighting against that fucking illness on her own!" I took a deep breath preparing myself for more.
"When my mother died he couldn't handle the pain so the same day as my mother died he took his own life , leaving me, alone" I didn't know what to say, I was chocked. I have never seen him in a pain like this before. He stood up. "Oh god Jax" I hugged him and he diged his face in into my hair. I could hear the quiet sobs and I stroke my hand over his back. I have never seen him crying. When I first met Jax I never would have thought that I would one day see him like this. His broken. "I don't know what's wrong with me anymore Ashley... Why am I like this?" He mumbled into my neck and I kept on striking my hand over his back.
"There's noting wrong with you, I promise" I mumbled back to him. "I dragged you into this, I should have just stoped playing attention to you after the night we met." I ignored the feeling of getting stabbed in the heart, his words hurt. Do he really wish 'we' didn't happen? I took a deep breath.
"Ashley, you're my only lifeline from not following my fucking dad steps, I don't want to be him, I don't want to be as coldhearted and problematic as him" He said and looked up.
"Jax you're not cold-hearted..."
"Ashley I have done stuff, stuff I really regret..."
***
YOU ARE READING
Always
Romance"Did you see anything over there. Did you see what that group of people was doing!?" He said. I didn't answer. He lifted one of his hands to my throat and grabbed my chin with the other. I looked with fear into his dark green mysterious eyes. "Did...
