CRAVING HARDEN

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Just as I was about to start digging my hands into my favorite cookies ,the door creeped open and it was Tim!!
"Oh timler " I jumped out of my bed with my fragile but strong body .I gave him a big hug, and his reaction shocked me -he actually hugged me tightly like he was afraid of losing me.
" I missed you so much Lily" he exclaimed
"Go sit, you're still weak" he ordered but I didn't. I just kept on clinging onto him like paper glued to the book.
Tim pulled me off him and laid me on the bed while stuffing my mouth with loads of cookies
"Heyy!!!" I muffled cause my mouth was too full to speak
"Bye Lily , I got to hurry" he closed the door behind him With a huge smile on his face.. wow, I rolled my eyes.. I just recovered and he comes for only five minutes to see me.
I missed him already, but I was distracted by the noise that came out from the shower room . A muscular body stood before me, with his hair, dripping, wet, and water droplets on his face as he cupped my face, and kissed my cheeks.

"Morning, how're you today?" I didn't know what to say . What was going on??
I just turned my face away and l nodded to tell him I was OK, but I needed answers and I needed them now! So I decided to ask right away but before I could , he beat me to it.
"See ..Lily , I know you're angry and all but it wasn't my fault I think it was... "he struggled to say the rest. He later let them out .
"I think I was jealous , I became angry. So I wanted you to know how i felt.. He was about because you're talking, but I was the one to beat him to it this time around.

"How you felt?!! How you felt? Harden? "
Do you know how I felt when I was in an empty transparent box, that was suffocating me? Do you? When I thought I was never going to see my mom again ,my sister, Tessa, Tim and,,.he interrupted

"It's always Tim, it's always been about Tim" he blurted out but I couldn't let him continue this madness
"Why , what's wrong, what do you mean??! Why are you like this? I shouted back.. DO YOU KNOW??DO YOU KNOW how I felt when I thought I would never see you again ...do you??
Tears started rolling down my cheeks and Harden was there looking like an arrow had just shot him in his chest. He tried to clean my tears. I slapped his hands away and cleaned them myself.
I wasn't going to feel defeated once more. This was too much and he needed to know.

I stood up, grabbing some of the cookies in my hand; I stuffed some in mouth because I was having a panic attack and all I did when I had it was EAT. it was only food I could come down for now. I was about to leave when Harden shouted my name very loudly ...I knew I had to stop, but I didn't look back.
"Do you know how it felt, do you?
"When you were on the bed there. I thought you'll never wake up and that made me cry. I blamed myself countless times for what you had to go through. I made a promise that If you never woke up , I'd hate myself more than I already do right now..I didn't know how much you meant to me until I saw you lay unconscious ..I'm sorry, OK?? It is my fault for...

"Whose fault then?? Whose fault?? I shouted at him
"Your fault , Lily.. YOURS!!" He broke down ..

I was confused.. " my fault? How?" Was he seriously blaming me right now..I headed to the door - I couldn't bear to finish the conversation.
"Your fault Lily.." he kept on shouting as he slowly broke down
"For making me..I turned the door knob and stepped a door outside but before I could go ..he finally said something I've longed for.. something I thought couldn't be real.
"Making me , fall for you , Lily."

" Yes, I like you so much that I can't breathe If you aren't beside me, I don't know what this is. The feeling?? It's all new to me , Lily.
I could hear him crying softly, but I stood there, standing, still like a statue about to fall from its position. I let go of all the cookies I was holding in my hand and watched them fall .there was an awkward silence in the room..

"What was this? What was happening ??!I asked myself. I know I said I wanted to get my answers but was this what I wanted to know or more than I asked for ?
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I was thinking about what Harden had just said to me and yes , I was still standing in the position when I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me into warm embrace, and I think that was exactly what I needed for now or maybe for a long time now- to be in his arms .
" I'm sorry" ha apologized.
" I didn't do anything with Tricia..it just out of jealousy..I'm really sorry, please don't leave Lily" I could tell that he was being truthful .

I felt a stream of tears flowing down my back, he was actually crying.

(Craving harden is back guysss..make sure to vote please !!!)
Sorry I haven't updated in a while..