Audrey Hepburn's Pearls: Volume 1

Chapter 17.2: 1994, Ruiz

Going up the steps to Georgina's apartment, my heart weighed heavy. Guilt felt like it was dripping from me, how Ambrose was probably walking to the club now alone. How I had bailed on him, betraying him further by failing him as a friend. But this was a subject I could not talk to him about, that he would not understand no matter how good of a friend he was.

It seemed like there was only one person in the world who would understand my feelings, and that person was behind the door of the third floor apartment I was currently making my way to. I knew she'd understand, because she was like me. She seemed like a shining hope in an ocean of fear. A blessing to massage my fears away, introduced to me at just the right moment. Strange how fate is.

My fist knocked on the door five times. Immediately, I heard the sounds of shuffling from within, as if she had been waiting for me. The chain lock slid, and a second later I was looking in the face of Georgina, her blue eyes peering at me curiously. She shifted and scratched her arm nervously. Her long, light blue, sleeveless dress swept the floor as she stood back to let me in.

As I walked in, she went to her kitchenette immediately as was custom with us. The slight mermaid fishtail train of her dress weaved back and forth as she walked in tiny steps due to the constriction of her knees by it. I began to feel under dressed. As she was heating milk on the stove, I realized I was not wearing even one piece of female clothing. I felt a blush heat my cheeks. My white t-shirt was old, too large for my frame. My loose jeans were ill-fitting, tied to me by a thick black belt. My sneakers were grubby as ever, old and rotten looking. Even my hair was tied back in a low ponytail, masculine in style. My embarrassment grew at the further realization that Georgina had not said a word about it. Elegant as ever, she had treated me the same as any other time regardless of my clothing.

The heavy smell of chocolate filled the apartment as she stirred in cocoa powder to our hot chocolates, finishing quickly and with grace. She set them down on the coffee table in the familiar bone china tea cups which she always used for us. Nervously, I sat up and put my elbows on my knees fidgeting my hands together.

She sat in her velvet red chair, and began sipping her hot chocolate delicately. It was up to me to start to talk. Her eyes kept peeking at me, knowingly. She knew I had something to say.

I took a long deep breath and during it she put down her cup on the table, staring at me with rapt attention.

"I don't know what to do," I said, immediately regretting it. My body started to shake, small trembles. It felt like the pink rose patterned couch was shaking, not myself. My nervousness was overtaking me and I couldn't control it anymore. Like these six words had unleashed something that I couldn't take back no matter how I tried.

She continued to stare at me, her eyes soft and caring. Not a word left her mouth, still waiting for me to speak.

I sighed again, tightening my hands into a fist ball and trying desperately to get my ever shaking body to stop trembling. But I couldn't get it to stop. It caused my voice to come out like a quaking little lamb.

"Ever...since...I was a little b-...little..." I breathed carefully, looking down at the white carpet, "I've liked girl's...cl...clothing..."

"Drink," Georgina ordered. My eyes flicked up to her to see she was pointing at my cup regally, her slender finger from a hand resting on her own knee. Incredibly, her long leg seemed to be crossed over her other in that tight dress, causing a beautiful yet strong sight. The small elevation of her foot revealed many layers of her aqua rimmed, white tulle underskirt.

"I'll spill it, Miss," I whispered shamefully, "I'm shaking...too much..."

"I trust you. Drink it," she answered back, her stare unwavering.