Drowned
Chapter 4
Lying, stealing, killing, cheating; these are things that we are morally taught not to do. But what if those are the only things left in this world that you haven't done yet. Would you? If the world were to end tomorrow, would you commit such acts that are deemed foolish by society?
Cheating is like murder. Once you've done it, there's always a guilt that follows you in every footstep you take. You can't run away from it either. All you can do is to hope, and pray that the one whom you did the action to can forgive you. But even with forgiveness, the truth will always cut you open like an open wound. You'll bleed from the results of your actions until you die.
As all things are, they come with a price. Once you get a taste of that thrill, you'll never be able to quit—just like me.
So let me just call myself this for once. I am The Thorned Rose.
Lips, teeth; with every breath comes another. We were tugging clothes, battling in bed. Exchanging huffs, until one gets a little too close to the flame. The burning sensation of our bodies was met with the cold touch of the numbing night. Every thrust of our bodies felt like a magnet, pulling and pushing each other, believing that the opposite do attract.
"Lila?"
I answered back with a hum. Gavin held my delicate body into his arms. His hands felt like sheets covering up a newly made crystalline vase. They felt warm. If only I was able to feel this from Matthew, maybe I wouldn't be here, and have allowed my skin to be bit by a venomous snake.
Everyday became exciting to me again as if my life was recoloured by different hues. I felt alive. A once in a lifetime favour I granted became a pattern that I couldn't resist breaking.
But that night woke me up.
"Why did it take you so long to answer?" Matthew asked, slamming his hands on the table.
"I didn't know what to say from how stupid that question was Matthew!" I answered back, trading screams back and forth.
But the truth is. I was scared.
A month into Gavin and I's little game, we were already caught by Jason making out in the school's parking lot. Thinking back, we should have called it off by then. But, we were so into the thrill that our sense of justice blurred out of line.
"Shouldn't we stop?" I asked Gavin that day and he just shook his head and gave me another kiss. "I'll talk to Jason, don't worry. We were childhood friends," were his exact words that made us keep going.
But right now, that's not how it works anymore.
For the past few years in order to make sure Jason wouldn't snitch on us, I befriended him. At first, I couldn't stand his presence, but when I met Kianna who was particularly close with Jason, I stayed.
Kianna was different. She had this glow everytime she smiled. She radiated positivity and always striving wherever she went. To me, she was the sunlight in the rain; a four leaf clover in a garden full of dandelions; a star in the murky night when the moon is covered with nimbus clouds. That's why when I noticed that Kianna wasn't attending class anymore, something felt wrong. I asked Jason why, but the only answers he gave me are vague.
That'a why I made that party in hopes to get a proper answer from him with the influence of alcohol. But I was far optimistic thinking it would be that easy. Instead, it backfired.
"Are you not feeling it today?" Gavin pulled his kisses away. I tucked my lips, and shook my head as he watched me intently with his piercing eyes. "What happened?" He followed.
