Drowned
Chapter 5
People are interesting. We have what we call feelings; love, lust, hate, jealousy, and envy. They all come together to create something whole.
So what will happen if we don't get that feeling? Aren't we considered human? Or what happens in the latter, when we have so much of it? Can we call ourselves more than a human?
In that case, I would openly tell you that I hate myself. More than people know, more than people would perceive.
Before highschool I was constantly bullied for the way my teeth looked. So I didn't smile at all, for every time I did, laughter would spark, and needles like fingers pointed at me in mockery. And by the time I had finally convinced my parents to get me braces, a new fragment of me was picked apart and made fun of.
My hair was naturally blonde, so every week I'd dye my hair black to match everyone. But the jeering never settled down there as it only grew bigger. It felt like every part of me was deceased, that I was broken. It felt like living everyday was a constant nightmare. I was concerned about what everyone thinks of me that I drowned.
But Matthew was the one who pulled me out of that pool. He saved me, gave new meaning to my life. So I gave him my everything. He became my world, and I became hers. But then I realised something. That dedicating your whole existence to one person became tiring. When I finally thought I was free, I only realised then that I was going full circle to where he found me; trapped in a loop. Life became black and white, and the hues disappeared. I was a blank canvas whose skin was only drawn with black ink when I could be coloured with a lot more. And when I met Gavin, that canvas filled with hues. I felt alive again, not until it came crashing down, again.
I tried to correct wrong things the wrong way. I lied, I cheated. But aren't we all twisted in some ways? We're ain't saints, but sinners. If God allowed, and gave me the ability to do these things, then they must be done. There must be reasons why they happened.
And now, I'm doing the right thing. Every secret must be uncovered. If mine shall be unveiled, his too shall be.
The time I wasted travelling here must be worth it as long as I find her. I searched the whole campus, even went to the teacher's office, and when one teacher recognized her photo that I had saved in my phone, it was only a matter of time before all shall be revealed—what really happened?
Every step of the way outside felt heavier. My stomach ringed as if stars were orbiting within. Time flew slowly, and it stopped when I saw fragments of memories flash on my mind. It was her.
"Kianna!" I called out, running towards her back waving my hand. And when she turned around, it was her.
She didn't have the same smile she wore before, or even the aura she gave felt off. But it was definitely her, I am certain of it; the short-hair, blue eyes. A lot of years may pass, but one thing will never change, and that is their eyes.
"Wow. It's really you Kianna. A lot has changed since then, hasn't it?" I welcomed her in my arms, and she smiled. "It's Dianne. But yes, you're right. A lot has changed since then, Lila," she said.
