Closet love

Chapter 2: the devastation of the town

It's Monday again. Our 3rd week of school and already something devastating and depressing has happened over the weekend. Two boys from school committed suicide because they were gay and were getting bullied so much. I sat down and secretly cried just thinking about it. Now I know to be extremely careful about telling anyone I'm gay.

I see Jason in the hall and I see tears in his eyes. He's clearly trying to hide it though, I know by the way he try's to run away from me. "Jason! Wait up!" He now breaks into a full on sprint. "No! You can't see me like this!" He screams. "Please stop! I want to talk to you!" He finally stops and I can see him bawling. I grab his arm and jerk him around so he's facing me. "I want to start a club so people like them can have a safe place to go where they can talk about they're problems. It's so screwed up!" I understand in an instance that he's not just talking about the boys who committed suicide. Memories of his parents are coming back. And in that moment I want to reach up and kiss him and let him know that I care. But I know I can't. I have to hold these feelings in.

We made tons of posters and sign up sheets to start a GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) club. The staff at the school was super supportive about it and we even got one of the teachers to run the club and give us ideas for new objectives. We got probably 5 people to join total. That's it. But it will have to do for now.

It's after school and I'm just staying to turn in over due homework and after school band practice. It's about 4:30 in the afternoon and I decide to go. I hear the sounds of screams in the hall. I notice the scream. It's Jason's. Then I hear other angry screams and then,"YOU FUCKING FAG SUPPORTER!" Then I hear the sound of Jason being punched. He hits the ground and he's being kicked really hard. I can hear it from two corners away. I can't listen anymore. I run in only to see the worst beat down ever. I punch the quarterback of the football team, he's the leader, and he is immediately knocked out cold. "Get out of here now!" I scream, and they immediately flee. Jason's on the ground crying and bleeding from his nose and his mouth. I get the school nurse. She cleans out his cuts and sends him on his way with me right there by his side.

In the hall I ask him,"what triggered that fight?" "I don't know. I was just putting the rest of the posters up when they started asking me why I was starting the club. I didn't answer to anything other than to say I supported it, then they started asking me if I was gay and then...." He let his voice trail off and he stopped the sentence right there. "Are you gay?" I ask him. Only silence as he puts his head down and starts crying. I tell him to sit down and he does and I sit down next to him. "So you are." Still just silence and tears. That just gave it away. Finally he says,"you're just going to judge me now. I know you are." I grab his arms and stand him up. Then I push him back against the wall with a little power and he lets out a small "umph" as he hits the wall. Then I press my body against his and whisper in his ear,"I'm not going to judge you. I'm not going to leave your side. I care about you." Then without even thinking. I lean in and kiss him. He kisses back surprisingly and I open my mouth to let his tongue explore and then our tongues meet. Then I pull back and walk away. What just happened back there?!

Then later he texts me:

Jason: I'm sorry about earlier. That wasn't supposed to come out the way it did.

Me: Don't worry about it. I hope everything isn't all awkward between us now.

Jason: Shut up. I don't want to hear it. Nothing is going to go back to being "normal" we're not normal. We're gay.

Me: I know. But it's not like we're dating.

Jason: can you come over? I just need to see you in person for a while.

Me: I'll be right over

I don't bother to ask my parents because they don't really care about what I do. They've been wanting to kick me out of the house ever since I turned 18 this summer.