The strange near-hallucinogenic episode that occurred doesn't vacate my mind as Tobias and I continue working to unload the remainder of the packages. I'm in a constant state of tension, fearful that I'll be hit with another mirage; blessedly, it doesn't come. Though the feeling is faint, I can sense Tobias keeping close watch over me as we work, ready to assist me should anything happen again. I'm beyond grateful for this.
By the time we've finished, nearly all of our supplies have been unloaded in trade for the crates and containers we harbored for them in the bunker situated beneath the center of our village. Every other month in addition to dropping off a load of supplies, they come to retrieve a considerable cases as well. We were never allowed to explore their contents or inquire why they entrusted us with them in the first place, none of us would ever dare even if we could.
Tobias and I stand together watching from the sidelines as the boys and villagers gingerly trade off the last of the crates; we didn't want to disrupt them now that they had developed such an efficient rhythm. Tobias stands flush against me with his arm comfortably slung around my shoulder as it had been before. His wooden prosthetic gently grazes my bare calf, and I lean my head against his chest in a way that causes my overgrown hair to pool against him. It was abnormally, but blissfully peaceful. I could tell we were both relishing in it; fearful that we would never be allowed a moment of content ever again - as was always the risk. I didn't need to utter a single word to break the silence, there was an understanding between us now that we would look out for one another however we could - as Elias and I did.
The tranquility is shattered just moments afterwards.
"Hey," A voice uttered from behind us. Our heads snap around fearfully, expecting to meet the fury of one of the soldiers, only to be met with one of the women who resided on the island with me. She strides over to us with purpose
"Ah, Irma, to what do we owe the pleasure?" I ask, relaxing just an increment.
"What the hell was that earlier?" She almost snarls it under her breath, catching both Tobias and I by surprise.
"Wh-what?" I stutter, puzzled.
"That fucking scene earlier. You grabbed the captain of the ship. You remember what happened to the last person who breathed next to him improperly?" There was no need for her to remind me; I certainly do. At the slightest inconvenience, the soldiers wouldn't hesitate to fire at the villager that irritated them. If they were compassionate, they'd stop there. Though often they'd fire at the next few people in line as well just for the entertainment of it.
"Of course I do, Irma."
"Exactly. You know this. You knew this and you put us all at risk for-... for-" Irma gestures at Tobias with disdain, "that cripple? He might as well already be dead. Heaven knows he won't last long working for them - with or without you getting all your comrades killed for him."
Tobias flinches; he seems to nearly shrivel from the shame. I tighten my hold on him, glaring at Irma with loathing. She had the sharpest and most blatant tongue of everyone in the village; a stickler for the rules, even more so than the rest of us. Though I can't fault her a majority of the time, she was trying to stay alive just like the rest of us. But her lack of sympathy and compassion often robbed her of any humanity.
"Irma, don't be foolish," I say, playing stupid, "I was simply, and sincerely concerned about the efficiency of our operation today. How could you ever imply that I would care about anything else but the convenience of these good soldiers?" Irma simmers at my naive act. At my side, Tobias gives me a knowing, coy smile.
"Sparrow," Irma mutters, her dark brown hair frames her face in a way that causes her eyes to darken into a frightening gray, "watch your tongue. One of these days that smart-ass mouth will get you in trouble. That is, if your heart doesn't get you killed first."
"My heart is none of your concern, Irma. I assure you I can handle it myself," I say, "I'm just grateful; at least I have one." Irma clicks her tongue in annoyance, not even stiffening at the notion that she lacks human empathy, before turning on her heel and heading back towards the rest of the group.
"Naively compassionate, headstrong, fool , you are." She hisses under her breathe. I pay it no mind, simply relieved that she'd chosen to give her berating a rest. Instead, I turn my attention back to Tobias, who still looked intensely abashed.
"Now, Tobias," I begin, in my most kind but firm voice, "I forbid you from taking a single word she just said to heart. Irma is a vehemently cruel and self-preserving person. Anything that shows weakness or puts her at risk deserves nothing less than gory-violent death in her mind. To measure yourself by such values is no way to live." Though the difference is minor, I can feel Tobias relax against me. And I know that he's at least considering my words.
"I think you're lovely just the way you are, though we've only known each other for a short while. I'm sure it isn't worth losing a leg over, but I don't think you being crippled makes you any less of a valuable human. If anything, I think the struggle all you boys have gone through has made you all the more kind. I would hate to see you grow cold and violent like Irma or those soldiers." Tobias flushes a soft rose hue at this, averting his gaze. His lips quirk at the corners, which warms me to the bones.
"Thank you, Miss Sparrow," Tobias says, then, "but, I must ask, why did you risk yourself for me?"
"Now Tobias," I scold teasingly, "don't tell me, against my best efforts, you're letting your heart turn to stone like Irma has? Worse," I rest a hand on my chest, feigning offense, "are you accusing me of being as cold hearted as she?"
"Certainly not, I assure you, but-" Tobias rubs at the back of his neck, "we can't deny, she's right about one thing. You put yourself and so many others at risk by helping me today. It takes a certain kind of.... unique compassion to do that. It almost looked as if seeing me in trouble had forced you into a one-track minded state. You disregarded the safety of yourself and your peers after just seeing one person you barely knew in trouble. I must ask, why?" I go silent with genuine contemplation, after a moment, I answer,
"I suppose it's just the way he raised me." Tobias gives me a bewildered look.
"He? Who's he?" My eyes widen at the realization of what I just said. My hand rises numbly to my temple, my eyebrows furrowing with concentration as I try to fathom why... or what on earth possessed me to say or think something so nonsensical.
"I..... I don't know...... it must have just been a slip of the tongue."
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Before His Fall | Book one to the "Ackerman" Triology
Fanfiction"I'm coming home." Home, that word had always seemed so foreign to Lyndsey Collins. Home used to be the small farm her mother had owned near the mountains, the farm were she thought she would spend the rest of her life working on. Her entire life co...
