Missed Connections

J

Though it wasn't a missed connection, we still missed our connection. It was four months of us and you still couldn't figure out how to talk to me in front of your friends. You told me you thought I was your soulmate and you don't lie. We held hands in the sand, I took care of you when you threw up, you took care of me when I threw up. I remember when you were drunk and the way your grip on my waist grippened like you didn't ever want to let go. No one's loved me like you have. You saw me in a way I wish more people would. You understood the way I saw things and I felt about things and you accepted it so long as I was honest. You were always scared I would leave you. You made me crazier than anyone has. I spent countless nights waiting until 1 AM for you to sneak out and see me and you'd fall asleep. I don't understand how someone can say the things that you've said and act the way that you did. Soulmate. Why would you call someone that when you couldn't even talk to me? I didn't even agree, I don't think we are soulmates. But I still love you. So much. I'm not sure if anyone's ever hurt me the way you have today. I feel pathetic and I hate you for doing this to me and all I want is to wake up to you knocking on my window at 1 AM.