In the midst of the lupins

𝚅𝙸𝙸𝙸

Our embrace seemed to stretch for eternity. But as soon as the guy came to his senses, this eternal circle was interrupted.

Now everything became clear to me.

On the way home, I unexpectedly lost the ability to speak (is it worth it?), and therefore kept silent. From that day on, a gap formed between us. And no matter how hard I tried to justify his act, my hands could not build bridges to him. Although quite recently my heart cherished from feelings.

A week after the forest walk, nothing has changed. I wanted to talk to him, listen to him, understand him, but everything became clear to me myself. My intentions to escape were not childishly great, but the desire to get to the bottom of the truth was much stronger. It bored into my chest with a dull pain.

He must have felt the change in the air, too. And that's why you decided that it's better not to touch me for a while? The guy was hoping that I myself would approach him with a conversation? At all times I will rush to his bed, under the covers, and the forcing atmosphere will dissipate in an instant?

One sunny day it finally dawned on him that this game of hope was useless.

"Is everything fine with you?"

I sat at a table in the garden and looked at the horizon. Without waiting for my answer, he called out to me:

"Beomgyu?"

"Yeah, it's all right," I finally answered without looking into his eyes.

"Lately you've been silent... Haven't you fallen ill?"

"No."

"Then what happened?" he leaned forward, hoping to catch my eye, and inserted it gently, "M-m, Beomgyu?"

"It's all right, I'm not sick."

"But why aren't you even looking at me?"

Yes, I was afraid to see a stranger there.

I could hear him smiling weakly, holding his fear. But at that moment the kettle boiled. I thank heaven that I was able to get rid of the interrogation, which wasted the already stuffy air.

"Do you want to pick raspberries later? the guy asked during dinner, to which I agreed and still avoided eye contact with him."

In the evening we picked berries in different parts of the plot until dusk. Then a familiar voice called to me. It was coming from somewhere under the apple tree. There was nothing to do, and I went to the other end of the summer cottage, to the trees and bushes.

"Do you want an apple? I'll get you," he added immediately.

"No thanks. I can handle it myself," and my heels soared up.

However, the path to the apple turned out to be extraordinarily far away, as to immense orchards at the end of the world. The leaves wrapped around my hand from all sides and with each new attempt to reach out they checked me for tickling.

It's right in front of my eyes!

After a while, my thoughts united into a gloomy cloud, and now I curse this fruit. In addition, I did not leave the feeling of shame, which reached the final point. It happened at the moment when the guy's hand casually touched mine and easily took out an apple.

"Hold it," he beamed with a smile as if nothing had happened.

My tongue dropped from the palate and I spoke hurriedly.

"Theo... No. Yeonjun, who are you?"

He didn't answer, just rolled his eyes. Did my strangler truly have no idea that he had given himself away a week ago? Or maybe he also understood everything, like me, just played games with me? I softened my tone and spoke softly: