Yet another lie I told myself
"I don't love him. I do like him though"
But I do notice;
The flowers that bloom in my heart
The wilding butterflies in my stomach
The heat that burns into my skin
Whenever I glanced over you
Only to realize ur eyes were already on me.
Whenever I do stupid things
Only for you to giggles over my silliness.
You did...
Gave me a mixed signals.
The smiles whenever our eyes met
The way you turned red around me
Or when the tip of your fingers lightly caressed against my neck as you tried to brush away the strands of my hair.
And again I lied to myself.
It's perhaps nothing.
I hold my breath and whisper a silent prayer to the God I don't believe exist.
"God this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with."
As I looked into your brown eyes, the most beautiful shade of brown I've ever seen;
When I clearly remember disliking the colour brown yesterday.
When you lightly nudge me begging for attention.
When you messed up my hair just so you got my attention.
When you asked silly questions to grab my attention.
Or when you casually asked me,
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
And I thought that's enough to tell that I'm your someone special.
I thought I'm special...
But perhaps I'm not.
I can see you there standing right in front of me.
We're so close but it feels very far.
Because there's her...
Standing right next to you
You treated her the same you did to me
With warmth in your eyes
With laughter of joy
A smile I thought u only shows me
What are we?
Lover?
I've fallen for you even before she did.
I dreamt of a future with you every nights
But you clearly treated everyone the same and here I am crying ugly hating myself for being madly in love with you.
Friend?
I made up scenarios that didn't exist, hoping we'd go out sometime as friends.
I saved your number, thinking you'd do the same.
But you didn't even save my number, and it hurts me to the core. I thought we were very close. Enough to save each other's number.
Coworker?
I've been working with you even before she joined us.
I've known you way longer than she did.
But it seems like she's the brightest stars, all eyes are on her and I know yours too.
I can fight against 100 women who want you
But not against the 1 you want...
So I gave up..
There's a saying that scoring 99 in exam hurts more than getting a 0. Because the most painful thing isn't about not getting it, but ALMOST getting it..
