Blue Rose

CHP4-Indirect

Pov-Isabella

I was waiting for Christian outside the school gate,I was happy we were having coffee all by ourselves from a long time.He then came out.''Hi,Lets go"He said. We started walking to nearest Starbucks.

''Why'd you call for coffee today?''Asked Christian.''I just wanted to see you.'' I told him.I saw him smilling.He too wanted to see me eagerly.We reached the Starbucks and we gave our orders,we sat at the table.We again started talking.

''Do you like anyone at our school?''I asked him.''I do,for three years now.But I don't think she feels the same.'' He said looking a bit upset.''Why didn't you tell me?You went through all of this alone?''I told him a bit disappointed.''I just don't want anyone to know.''He said,looking down.''You should have told me.''I told him.''I could've helped you.''

''OK,thats fine,How's your mum?I haven't met her in a long time.''I asked him.''She's great but she misses you alot.''He said looking brightly and smiling.I chuckled.

''How about a study session on Monday?I can meet your mom and we get the majority homework that day.''I said.''Just the two of us? He asked,looking like a total douche.

''Yeah ofcourse,we haven't spent time alone.''I said.''OK,sure.''He said while smilling.

We talked a bit more and after an hour we left .He liked someone else.I don't know who.He barely talks to other girls except me,Abigial and Katrina.I headed home.I went into my room and I felt bland and drained,I felt nothing.Not joy,not sadness.No emotion.I was blank.

My mum called me for dinner but I didnt go.I was laying on my bed blankly looking at the ceilling.Then I thought to myself,why did Christian came early and had to tell something to Louis?He didn't tell me anything even at coffee what exactly was he trying to say?Should I ask Louis tomorrow?Wont it be too obvious?I did saw him blushing when i told him about the study session.Wait really?No its messing with my mind.I should just ignore it.Was that just a hint?

Its not a hint.I'm overthinking.I should've slept yesterday.I overwork myself too much.I need to take a break.Study sessions are ruining my sleep schedule.I've been falling asleep from mostly all my classes.Thats the reason I have alot of study sessions.

Being a ranker in class is not easy.You have such high expectations for yourselves but it doesn't do anything.You get just three hours of sleep because you've been studying so much.It doesn't do anything.

Its different,y'know ,when you might have fallen for your best friend in the entire world.I couldn't accept me liking him.I didn't tell anyone because it will come as rumours and will soon come to Chris and will ruin our whole friendship.

Its not like I wont tell him.I will tell him.Once I fully accept myself liking him as more than friends.Was I suffering?I just felt drained.I don't really know how I started liking him.I mean,boys and girls are rarely just friends,but we are best friends.Can that be different?

Can we be more than friends: is the real question I want to ask.But never have the courage too. Am I okay?Do I need help?I'm questioning myself so much its hard.

He's so pretty,it hurts.

I could not wait for Monday to come eventhough most are tiring and overproductive.I've been waiting for weekends every week but I could'nt wait.I'll be ready,soon.I just need to know when I'm ready.