Moon nights - a summer romance in Seoul

Chapter 25: Ayla

At nights I gaze at the moon
and grief the person I could have become

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"Do you panic a lot during public events?" Jonghyun yawned, his resting head in my lap, my eyes on the e-book in my hand. 4th book of the series, and I was about to be introduced to Leyla meeting Tommy again after he broke up with her in university. One thing is for sure; this book couple had its own definition of tension and slow burn.

"Depends. I didn't attend public events before I came here, so I can't compare it. I'd say I'm getting the hang of it. As sad as it sounds: There isn't too much to do as a woman in such events anyways. They only expected you to be a smiling but silent arm candy during those events. To be seen and not heard. I usually hate that, but when my social anxiety is spiralling, I appreciate it if I'm not bound to a conversation... so I can force myself through an event easier when I have a bad day... when did you realise that I was suffering from social anxiety, by the way?"

That was a question I had meant to ask him for a while. He knew before I even told him. I put my e-book down and focused on his face instead.

"On Memorial Day. When we visited the Seoul National Cemetery, you were shaking and uneasy. I saw you fidgeting with your fingers, and you were doing your best to control your breathing but only started to relax when Tala spent the rest of the day next to you, holding your hand the whole time. I first thought the day itself gave you a hard time; visiting a cemetery can be triggering for some people. Who suffered a loss. Or who suffer from the fear of death. But you were still shaken up after we came back. And you behaved similarly, but not as obviously, the day you landed here in Seoul. But the first gala gave it away; I was watching you from the far, and I could tell something was wrong. On some days, you avoid eye contact with people as much as you can. Those are also the days you play around with your necklace a lot to keep your hands busy."

He looked up at me as he recalled his memories. One of Jonghyun's strengths was his attentive presence, yet he managed to impress me with it every single time when he proved how attentive he really was. There was barely a detail that slipped past him that he didn't remember.

"My oh my, your deduction skills are impressive, Watson", I smiled at him, tugging a strand of his hair away from his eyes.

"I learn from the best, Holmes", he replied with a mirrored smile. I let my hand linger on his face, caressing his skin before it travelled further north to play with his hair, which earned a content him from Jonghyun.

"You guys are sure we shouldn't buy a cake for him instead?" Mina asked for the third time as we put on our shoes, about to head out for the dance studio.
It was Taehyun's birthday, July 21.
He had left earlier, saying he'd meet us at the dancing studio later. We all assumed he'd be spending the day with his family, but ironically Jonghyun would be with him if his family had decided to celebrate the birthday. But he wasn't aware of any party in his family—some of Taehyun.

"They haven't celebrated his birthday in a big round in a while, claiming that Tae hyung isn't a fan of birthday parties. That they are childish. He spends his day with his friends or his girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend", he had explained earlier while the two of us were looking through various cake recipes to bake.
Whether he liked it or not, we would throw him a surprise birthday party later today, which is why also no one in the group had congratulated him yet. Technically, only Jonghyun officially knew it was his birthday. Technically.

Tatho and Jonghyun were responsible for baking the cake, Mina and Tala decorated the place, and Naeun and I were tasked to get Taehyun a present. In true adulting style, we split the tasks by a round of rock, paper, and scissors.