Test subject - sbi adoption au

New visitors - 14

Trigger warnings: mentions of scars, crying panic attack overstimulation , mention of death/ suicide

Y/N POV

I sat out there in the grass with Sam for a while. I really wanted to go back inside and talk to tubbo of ranboo but for now I wanted to stay here.

 "Sam, why.. Never mind." I closed my mouth thinking it would be stupid to ask .

 "Y/n I'm Your friend, I'll be happy to answer any questions you have. As long as you are comfortable with it." he replied.

 "Okay, but don't laugh at me or think this is weird but... Why do I want to die? Like it's not even that I'm sad, it's just that I want to feel something sometimes you know and nobody understands it. Did you know I've tried more than once. I mean dramatically mnemonic stabbing myself in the chest with a sword was pretty cool but I felt selfish. Like I was leaving and hurting the people around me."

 I could tell Sam was trying to think of what to say but all he did was hug me. I appreciated it. I always thought I wouldn't enjoy huge but when they are needed they really do help.

I didn't even notice I had started crying until I felt the saline solution ( if you know you know) in my mouth.

That's when my breathing started to increase almost automatically. Then my hearing went all fuzzy like someone has put headphones on them. Then I couldn't really feel Sam anymore it just felt like I was falling and falling and falling into a bottomless pit. I didn't like it but it felt familiar.

Then everything just went numb.

 I could feel a slight pressing somewhere a small pressure on me. It was trying to help I think. I tried to concentrate. Then I could hear my breathing too rapid, too fast , too shallow I needed to calm down.

I tried to take in bigger breaths and if Sam was still there I think he was trying to help me.

Then I started to feel something again, like a warm , fuzzy thing on me, maybe a blanket and I could feel something in my hand.

I tried to clear my vision but the tears kept coming out of my eyes like an avalanche. I could hear sweet calming things be said to me and that really helped.

I tried to find someone, I did and they hugged me and it all went back to normal.

My breaths were still ragged and uneven but my tears had stopped and now I had a headache and I was really thirsty but I didn't want to move from my position.

I didn't even care who it was hugging me, they helped me. So when I looked up I wasn't even that shocked when I saw Tubbo.

He gently brushed my hair. 

 "Are you ok now? Do you want anything like, water some snacks? I'm sorry if you did want me to hug you or touch you but you were upset and-"

I hugged him again.

 "Okay, snacks and water for y/n and maybe some of the presents you know." Tubbo said to Sam

 " Ok, I've got it! " and Sam left.

I slowly got up realising this all happened in the grass outside, my outfit was dirty so I quickly went inside to the bathrooms so I could change.

I left just before glancing at myself in the mirror. All of the scars.. Red eyes from crying...I didn't want to look anymore

I got into the most baggy shirt the I could find and was met with a few more faces when I entered the room.

"Umm hi?" I inquired

 I looked around at all of the familiar faces, one being very prominent.

Techno.

I smiled as I looked at him.

 "We came here bear in gifts, I know it's a day you wanted to spend with your brother and your friend but we have a proposition" techno said

 He held out a box, not just to me but to Tubbo and Ranboo. It was wrapped nearly with a cursive writing and even a coloured and decorated box t that was each of our favourite colours.

I carefully removed the ribbon off of the top and opened the box up . Inside was a luxurious , plush material that cushioned the letter that was on top. The letter had a stamp with the same cursive on it and I opened it up to see something I thought I never would.

fostering papers, and the adoption papers.

I looked back up at them all : Tommy smiling wildly, Wilbur with a small and sly smile, Phil with and endearing smile and techno with a glint in his eye that was pure happiness.

I was shocked but very happy.

I would have 4 new brothers. A family . A life.

I looked away from them and sat down on the floor, thinking through this.

 I could tell everyone was starting at me because tubbo and Ranboo had already said yes.

a whole new life, a new home, a new family. A fresh start.

"Yes" I whispered .

 A/N

Okay I know that was kind of mean to leave you guys for like a couple months and then come back leaving you on a cliff hanger I'm sorry ok. But like I have school work to do and you know mean to health but yeah. I loved writing this I didn't have a clue what I was going to write but I thought that this works pretty well. I like the fact that now I can write individual little bonding sessions with all of the brothers now and I think it would be cool to experiment with different cute sibling bonding scenes. Yeah I know it was kind of hard hitting at the start of it but yeah I think it just adds to the whole character of y/n. Anyways I'm going to go now I hope you guys don't miss me .

Drink some water , try to eat something and sleep.

Have a lovely rest do your day :)

1002