Whole, Part 2 (a Mass Effect fanfiction)

Sea and Stars

The familiar cries filled the house. Kaidan rolled over and started to get up, but Shepard put a hand on his shoulder. "My turn."

"You sure?" he asked sleepily.

"Yep." She climbed out from under the covers, still glad to find her limbs in good working order again. It had taken a while for all of Cerberus's repairs to be upgraded, and Shepard had chafed at the enforced downtime ... up until she had learned to enjoy it, at least.

In the little bedroom off of theirs, with the stars painted on the ceiling, the source of the cries was standing up in her crib, sniffling, her sobs easing when she saw Shepard.

"It's okay. I've got you. Come to Mama." She lifted her daughter, feeling the tiny arms wrap around her neck. "You want to go outside, look at the real stars?"

A snuffly nod against her cheek.

"Okay. We go outside." The weight against her was warm and familiar as Shepard made her way through the darkened house, out onto the deck and down the wooden stairs to the beach. The rolling waves of the ocean crashed softly against the shore, over and over, and above them, the stars twinkled brightly in the darkened sky.

The little head lifted off Shepard's shoulder, and the little hand reached out for one of the bright shiny things so far above them.

Shepard put her daughter down, and Stella Normandy Alenko toddled off across the sand to the ocean's side, where she plunked her bottom in the sand and began digging into it. She'd be filthy, and would need a bath, before either of them could go back to bed, but Juniper wouldn't have traded these quiet midnights with sea and stars and Stella for anything.

She and Kaidan had made good on their intentions to quit the sky, over the loud protests of many, many people, and only the slow progress on returning Shepard to good working order had convinced their friends and allies to take them seriously. Taking both human Spectres offline had required some serious discussions with the Council, and both of them had agreed to consult and help with the training of future human Spectres.

Lying back on the sand—okay, so both of them would need a bath—Shepard turned her gaze up to the stars, watching as a ship moved across her field of vision. Maybe it was the Normandy, she thought wistfully. Admiral Hackett had taken the ship—and its pilot—on as his flagship once it was clear Shepard meant to step down. For a moment there she'd thought Joker might go, too, lost in his grief for EDI, but in the end, the Normandy was all he had left. Shepard took some consolation in the fact that he was still there, and Dr. Chakwas was still in medbay looking out for him. It made her feel like she, too, could go back if she ever wanted to.

Not that that was likely anytime soon, she thought with a grin, as a handful of sand dropped on her with a wet splat. "Sand," Stella announced, looking proud of herself.

"Sand," Juniper agreed. "What you making, baby?"

"Sand," Stella said again, as though that should have been obvious.

"Have fun with that." Juniper sat up, hugging her knees to her chest as she watched her little girl.

David Anderson had settled down with Kaylee Sanders in London. The city was slowly being rebuilt, and Anderson was very much at the heart of that. Kaidan and Shepard had promised to make the trip—but she wasn't ready. Not yet. On the rare occasions Anderson and Sanders made it to Vancouver, they all got together, but it was awkward. Neither Shepard nor Anderson was used to making small talk.

Miranda was around somewhere—they hadn't seen her or heard from her directly, but occasionally an extravagant gift would show up with her signature. Emily Wong occasionally came down from the Citadel on business, and Juniper made sure they had dinner, no shop talk, every time she did. Kasumi appeared out of nowhere once in a while. She was surprisingly good with the baby, which only worried Shepard occasionally. Stella could do worse than pick up Kasumi's skills, in her opinion.

Jack was back teaching her students, fuming at having been put in charge of Grissom Academy when Sanders stepped down. But she loved it, that was obvious from all the swearing anytime Shepard heard from her.

Shepard sighed and gazed up into the galaxy. If she could see far enough, she could see Tuchanka, where Wrex and Bakara had a little Mordin and a little Shepard and were working on a third. The krogan were multiplying rapidly, as Wrex had promised, which seemed likely to become a problem for them and thus the galaxy, as they were going to push the limits of what Tuchanka could support.

Grunt had yet to settle down; he was leading krogan troops wherever they were needed across the galaxy. James did the same with human troops, and Cortez was back to being a fighter pilot. Much as Shepard would have loved to see the entire galaxy continue to work together as they had against the Reapers, it hadn't taken long for things to fragment again.

Beyond Tuchanka, far beyond, was Rannoch. Tali and Garrus were both Spectres now, but their permanent home was on Rannoch. And Liara? Who knew. She made contact occasionally, although not often enough to suit Shepard, but it wasn't the same. None of it was the same as the old days on the Normandy.

Such was the way of the galaxy. Shepard imagined that was what Thane would say. She felt very close to him here near the shore, where she could hear the waves from every corner of their little house. Whatever she did in her life, he would be part of her. Sometimes, a tilt of Stella's head, a moment when she seemed to be watching Shepard, seeing her in a different way, would remind her of Thane. Of course, mostly Stella reminded Shepard of Kaidan, which was how it should be.

"Hey." Kaidan eased into the sand next to her, holding out his arms as Stella, sleepy now, toddled into them, resting her sand-covered head against his shoulder. "Thought I'd find you girls out here. You say hi to everyone for me?"

"Yeah." Shepard smiled up at the stars. "They say hi back."

"You miss them."

She nodded. "But they all have their own lives now, and we have ours. I wouldn't change it, Kaidan." Reaching for his hand, she held it tightly. "This is where I want to be."

"Me, too. I love you, Juniper."

"I love you, too."

They lay there in the sand together, the three of them, Stella falling asleep between them, watching the stars and listening to the ocean, for a long time.

Some said the great Commander Shepard had given up, that she'd abandoned the galaxy. Some said she had lost part of herself. But Juniper knew the truth—for the first time of her life, all of her was working in concert toward a single goal. To heal from the wounds of the past, to prepare for the demands of the future, to revel in every moment of the present. At last, she was whole.