Whole, Part 2 (a Mass Effect fanfiction)

More Important Than Living

Once she was back aboard the Normandy, Shepard headed straight for the cockpit, to give Joker and EDI the tracking information Miranda had provided her.

As soon as the elevator doors opened in the CIC, Traynor stopped her. "Commander, what you did— Horizon was my home." Her voice broke. "Cerberus bastards."

"It's over now."

"But the scars will remain. Just ... tell me you're going to take Cerberus down."

"Cerberus is already dead. They just don't know it yet. And, Traynor? When their base is nothing but a smoking crater, remember that you're the one who helped us find them."

"Yes, Commander. Thank you."

Shepard squeezed her shoulder before hurrying on to the cockpit.

She stopped short as she crossed the doorway, finding Liara there, leaning over Joker's chair. It was so rare to find anyone other than herself standing just there that Shepard was immediately concerned.

"I have information about the human colony Tiptree," Liara was saying softly.

"Liara, you didn't have to do that." Joker's voice cracked with emotion. "I know you have more than enough to do for your own people."

"You are my people."

"Well ... thanks, then. What have you heard?"

"I've been getting reports of refugee ships from Tiptree landing on salarian colonies. I'm sorry, I wasn't able to get any names. But—it was mostly children."

"Well, Gunny—I mean, my sister, Hilary. Gunny's her nickname, she's had it since forever. She's only fifteen, so if it's children ... then maybe I only lost my dad." Joker lifted his ballcap and ran a hand through his hair before replacing it, an unusual thing for him to do. "What an asshole thing to hope for."

Liara placed a hand gently on his shoulder. "Jeff—in these times, take any kind of hope you can get."

"Thanks, Liara. You, too."

"Oh. Yes. Thank you." She said it in the tone of someone who had all but given up hope, and Shepard's heart hurt for her, and for Joker, and for everyone who had been suffering through this war while the Normandy was sent bouncing around the galaxy like a pinball.

She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but time is of the essence."

Liara immediately stepped away from Joker's seat, and he swiveled around to look up at Shepard. "What's up, Commander?"

"Miranda planted a tracker on Kai Leng; this is the info. Can you follow it?"

"To get that bastard? Oh, yeah." Joker took the data stick from Shepard's hand, turned his chair back toward the console, and plugged it in. His hands flew over the controls, and Shepard could feel the Normandy's engines surge beneath her feet in response. "Nice work shutting that place down, by the way," he added over his shoulder.

"Is Miranda okay?" Liara asked.

"She will be." Shepard couldn't help but smile. Miranda had won—she had beaten her father, and made the galaxy safe for her sister.

"Even for Cerberus, that place was crazy," Joker said. "They've always been about the ends justifying the means, but how do you do that to innocent people and tell yourself you're helping humanity?"

"I'm not sure the Illusive Man really knows what humanity is. He's lived apart from other humans for so long, he's forgotten what it's like to be one."

"Still." Liara shook her head. "I don't know how the Illusive Man can stand looking at himself in the mirror."

"I doubt he bothers."

"Maybe he can't, with those freaky eyes of his," Joker suggested.

Watching the stars fly by, Shepard said grimly, "Well, whatever he's thinking, he won't be for much longer."

"That's the spirit, Commander."

Shepard turned to leave the cockpit just as the doors slid open and EDI entered. "Hello, Shepard. I have been looking for you."

"You didn't know where I was?"

"It was an expression."

"Oh. I see. What can I do for you, EDI?"

"If you have a moment, I discovered another example of human behavior I do not quite understand."

"Joker? ETA?"

"It'll be a while, Shepard. Good luck with this one."

Shepard turned back to the robot. "Okay, EDI, let's hear it."

EDI led her out of the cockpit to a quieter section of the ship. "There has been news from Earth. The Resistance snuck video cameras inside a Reaper containment camp. I find the images ... difficult to process."

"I can understand why." Shepard didn't even want to imagine what a Reaper containment camp might look like.

"Possibly not. You see, I would have expected the prisoners to adhere to a comprehensible hierarchy of needs. Stripped of societal norms, and threatened with death, it would be logical for their only priority to be survival."

"And that's not the way it went?"

"No. They should have turned on each other and been uncompromisingly selfish ... but not all were. You see, the Reapers delayed the executions of prisoners who informed them about other prisoners' escape attempts. The more attempts reported, the longer a prisoner would live. But few of the prisoners would report. Some fed misinformation to the Reapers, at the cost of their own lives, to help prisoners who were not even relatives or friends."

"Some things are more important than living till tomorrow," Shepard said softly. "Sometimes you have to take a stand."

"But the probability of success was near zero. And ultimately, they failed. No prisoners escaped."

"If they hadn't tried, the probability of success would have been zero." Shepard looked closely at the robot, thinking of her original Cerberus programming. "Are you saying submission is preferable to extinction?"

"My primary function is to preserve and defend the—" EDI stopped short. "No. No, I disagree. Shepard, I am going to modify my self-preservation code now."

"How so?"

"Because the Reapers are repulsive. They are devoted to nothing but self-preservation. I am different." EDI turned her head toward the door of the cockpit. "When I think of Jeff, I think of the person who put his life in peril and freed me from a state of servitude. I would risk nonfunctionality for him. And I think my core programming should reflect that."

It was amazing to watch a person forming before her eyes, Shepard thought. She was proud of the AI's growth. "Sounds like you've found a little humanity, EDI. Is it worth defending?"

EDI came to stand in front of Shepard. "To the death."

Shepard smiled. "Welcome to the crew, EDI."