Whole, Part 2 (a Mass Effect fanfiction)

Promise

Outside the War Room, Shepard found Kaidan and Javik waiting for her. The Prothean, in an unusually sympathetic move, stepped away to allow Shepard and Kaidan to speak in privacy.

Kaidan caught her around the waist and held her close. "I wish this was over, and we were back on the Normandy, safe and sound and in one piece."

"Me, too." She did wish it, more than she had ever wished a battle to be over before in all her career. She was losing her taste for this constant fighting.

"I'm ready, though," he added. "For anything. Bring it on."

Shepard wished she shared those sentiments. She plastered on a fake confident face and smiled at him. "That's the spirit. What about your students from Biotics division?"

He smiled. "More than ready. Eager. That's youth for you. Guess we're old soldiers, hey, Shepard?"

"Yeah, I guess we are." Was that what it was today, Shepard wondered. Was she getting too old for all this galaxy-hopping, all this constant fighting? Or had the past months worn her down? She supposed she might never know, especially if they didn't make it through the day. It worried her that her lack of drive might be the thing that got her killed today—her, or one of her team, or the entire galaxy.

"Hey," Kaidan said softly. "You don't have to carry this alone. You have a whole team here to carry it with you."

"I know. But—" But it was her the galaxy looked to. Her they depended on. Her they would blame—and justifiably so—if everything went sideways today.

"Shepard. Juniper." His voice cracked as he cupped her face in his hands. "My comrade-in-arms. I know the score, I know this is probably good-bye, but ... I don't want it to be."

"When this is over, I'm going to be waiting for you on a beach somewhere," Juniper said with a confidence she didn't feel. "You'd better show up, beer in hand."

He smiled at her, with a confidence he also clearly didn't feel. "It's a date. I'm going to fight like hell today for the chance to hold you again, I promise you that. But, listen ... Just in case, there's things I want to say."

She wasn't sure she wanted to hear them. Not now. "Kaidan."

Kaidan kissed her lightly on the lips. "When I look back, there's a few things I regret ... but not many. That's pretty damn amazing, right?"

Shepard had never wasted much time on regrets, but she had been around enough to know that was an unusual viewpoint. "Amazing," she agreed.

"Messed up kid that I was, I never would have dreamed of the life I've had. And I owe so much of that to you."

"It's been quite a ride."

"It sure has." He looked deeply into her eyes, studying her, making her feel seen. "Are you okay? Scared?"

"Damn straight. But that fear's what's going to keep me alive long enough to strike these bastards right through the heart." Or, at least, so she hoped.

"Yeah. Exactly." Kaidan leaned in, kissing her softly but with a hunger that reminded her exactly what she had to live for.

Juniper kissed him back with a sudden fierceness, wanting him to know all the things she had never been good at saying.

"I can't lose you again," Kaidan whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too. Kaidan ... promise me something."

"Anything."

"If we win today ... if this is—if there's a future ..." Juniper hesitated. She had never said anything like this before, not to herself or to anyone. Not even Thane. "Take me—take me somewhere on Earth, somewhere that you love. Take me—take me away from space."

"Shepard. Juniper." His eyes were wide. "You mean that?"

"I want—I want a different life, with you. I want to just be Juniper, wife to Kaidan, mother to our children." It felt so right, what she was saying, even though she knew a lot of people wouldn't understand.

Kaidan had gone very still. "Do you know what you just said?"

"I think I asked you to marry me."

"I think you did, too."

Blinking away tears, Shepard smiled. "And I think you didn't answer."

Kaidan hugged her fiercely. "Juniper Shepard, if we make it through today, I will take you anywhere in the galaxy you want to go, and I will marry you and we'll have beautiful babies, and we'll live ... we'll live just the best life."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Even as he kissed her, sealing his promise once and for all, Shepard's comm link crackled to life.

"Commander Shepard." It was Hackett's voice.

Disentangling herself from Kaidan's arms, she put on her Commander voice. "Shepard here."

"The Crucible is ready. I repeat, the Crucible is ready."

She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. Leviathan had come through. "Then let's blow these bastards out of the sky, Admiral."

Anderson must have been on this channel, too, because his voice chimed in immediately, "Hammer is ready for the ground attack on your command."

"The command is given. Attack at will."

"Understood." Shepard looked at Kaidan and Javik. "Let's move out. This is it. This is the day we win back our galaxy."

Javik nodded in quiet appreciation of the moment. "The last of the Protheans will see it done."