Penny for your thoughts

Payday: Lauren

Another one of those days that churn my stomach to knots. She called me out of the blue to make an advance.

Last time we spoke was at her celebration party, a month and a half ago. She said she applied for a new pediatric surgeon positions at Presbyterian, Memorial, and a few others.

I congratulated her but all I could think of was that New Amsterdam wasn't on her list. We had some good runs, but that's not enough is it. Anyone would get tired after having to see an ex on a regular schedule for 3 years.

Plus, it gets complicated once you find out one of you started trying to move on while the other holds hope in their eyes.

I would want to find the quickest way to get cash to end things if the roles were reversed. Getting a contract with a hefty sign-on bonus from private hospitals would certainly be my plan too.

Even with all my selfish intrusive thoughts, I truly wish she gets the job she's aiming for-

An abrupt buzzing on Lauren's right side pocket stops her train of thought.

"You'll be here in 5 mins? Okay see you soon."

That's 5 minutes left until the last time we might meet with or see each other. I'm trying hard to keep this feeling of despair inside. I can't make this hard for her as it is for me.

Setting her free. Unburdened. It's the last act of love I could give her.

Even with all her strength of will, tears started flowing down Dr. Bloom's cheeks. She wipes her face with the back of her hands forming a fist as she props them back down the edges of her bathroom sink.

She splashes some water on her face and wipes it dry.

As she sets down her towel, an all too familiar noise at the door shakes her core. She steels herself as if what happens next will be her walking off a cliff.