Ivy knows it's time to return to her childhood seaside town to battle the demons of her past. Two years away from her friends, family and the beloved sandy beach that holds such a special place in her heart.
She knows the visit will be painful but...
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I V Y T H O M P S O N
It's been three days since the party. Three days since my head has been scrambled.
JJ didn't think those things about me, surely?
A man like JJ would never actively want to go out with someone like me. He must be deluded, or recently hit his head. But I saw the honesty behind his eyes, the way he looked at me and how he touched my wrist in the most gentle caress.
He knows about Ben. I'm not entirely sure how much but he does.
Joel and Cal. Can never keep their mouths shut. I should have guessed that Finn wouldn't have told him, I don't think he's even over it now. He blames himself for me getting hurt, for allowing the relationship to happen. Which is why he'd pin JJ down and kill him before he ever got the chance to be intimate with me again.
I've tried to keep myself busy, focus on trying to have a good summer but the more I force it, the more I realise that it's never going to happen. I haven't spoken to Daisy since our argument and those words spin around my head on repeat.
We're both bad friends, neither of us want to understand each other.
Finn's been working a lot and I've been floating in and out of the house.
Part of me wants summer to be over so I can focus on my studies again. At least I will be distracted then and have something to place all my attention on but here... it's like the life is being sucked out of me.
When I first arrived back home, I adored it. Now it feels like a prison with a bunch of people who will never understand me. Maybe that's my fault for closing myself off and pushing everyone around me away.
I'm taking an afternoon walk down the beach, I grab an ice-cream from one of the many vans on the seafront and I kick off my flip flops. The sand blends between my toes and it feels warm beneath my feet.
The ice-cream melts fast with the beaming sun, leaking down my hand and making my fingers all sticky. I race to finish it and I rinse my hands off in the sea before sitting cross-legged, close enough to hear the waves crash against the shore over and over.
I wrap my arms around my legs and inhale, taking my time to study each wave as it plummets into the sand. It's therapeutic in a way because everyone is individual, looks different, sounds different. It's calming and it's one of the only things I love about this town.
If only I could wish my past away and pretend it never happened.
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I take a few seconds to pull it from its hold. I almost choke on my own spit when I see Daisy's name pop up on the screen, sending me a message. I think we both made it clear where we stand with one another, time away was the best thing we could have done.
