Ok, so I'm not going to name is "friend" because that'd be just plain rude. So I'll just call him Jerk.
Yay passive-aggressiveness!
Focus Nick!
Anyway, Jerk was always a bad influence. Of course, being my prepubescent self, I didn't know that like how I know that today. Tonight. What time is it? Today.
The first sign that he wasn't my true friend was when he tried to shove my head in a toilet. He later said it was an accident. What I still don't understand is how you accidentally push someone's head into toilet. That answer will never be answered.
It wasn't until 5th grade that the turning point happened and I finally fought back.
So one day in 5th grade, Jerk actually punched me. Not a friendly dig in the arm. Not a "you suck" punch in the shoulder or side. This was a "I hate you" punch across the face. I got pissed at that. I wonder why?
I literally grabbed him by his nose, slammed him to the ground, brought his arm behind his back, put my foot on his back, and pulled as hard as I could.
Sadly, his arm didn't break. It didn't even come out of the socket. So sad.
Anyway, I had to go to a psychiatrist since I almost knocked him out. And, of course, I hated every second of it. My councilor was a complete and udder dimwit. He never actually listened to me. He just blubbered on about how his wife left him and that it was ok because God had a path for him.
Did I mention I'm an Atheist? Yeah, probably should've mentioned that before I got into this.
Anyway, I finally got out of there and back to my knives.
Did I mention I was and still am a masochist? Man, I really got to start saying these things beforehand.
I think before I go on, I gotta list everything I believe and disbelieve just to get that out of the air.
YOU ARE READING
All About Me
Non-FictionIt's a nice, short autobiography. Psh. As if. What this actually is is an autobiography of the most screwed-up person you will ever meet. Prepare to go into the mind of an insane killer and a friend to Mother Nature. Even if she's being an utter bit...
