May It Be Forever

VISITS

"Emi, wait!" Guilherme exclaimed as I kept running. I covered my ears and pretended not to hear him.

"Leave me alone!" I exclaimed angrily, turning to face him.

He pulled me close to him.

"It's not what you think."

"No? Then what is it? Explain it to me, Guilherme... Look, you know what? Fine."

And get out.

"Emi, no, please."

I stood face to face with him. He looked thoughtful. His mouth twitched a little, he opened it, but in the same second he closed it. He paused for a moment, as if thinking about the right words to say. I peered into his gaze; it was deep and confused. His expression was one of guilt and fear. It seemed as if I could even fight with that big guy. He put his arms in front of his body as a form of defense. But it wasn't for fighting; it was as if he was defending himself from my stare.

"It's not that much either, is it? If you think I'm going to hit you, you're wrong. After all, I couldn't."

He held back a smile.

"So you forgive me?" he said, raising his eyebrows. "Emi... I swear, she was the one who kissed me."

"You don't owe me any explanations. We're nothing but friends, of course. You can kiss whoever you want."

"Then why did you run away?"

I ran out of answers. I didn't want to appear weak in front of him. I swallowed hard and looked at him without any fear in his eyes.

"Because I wanted to," I said confidently. "I'm tired. I want to go to sleep. That's all I want, okay?"

"Can I take you home, then?"

I thought. It would be stupid, but I agreed.

And he drove me away.

Silence in the car. Neither he nor I said anything the whole way.

The secret city was beautiful at night — calm and serene. I drove all the way, looking out of the dark car window. And so it was.

+++

A week later came the visits from relatives and friends. I don't know how, but I managed to get up early and tidy up the house. I wanted to receive my parents with a clean house. I couldn't wait for them to arrive. I was so anxious. One month without seeing them; it was the worst month of my life. My desire was to hug them and never let them go again. I walked to the kitchen and prepared a meal. I hummed as I cleared the table, and then I heard the sounds of a car engine. Someone knocked on the door. I ran and went to answer it. There were so many hugs and kisses. My mother was more beautiful than ever, her hair was loose, her curls were brushing her shoulders, and she started to cry, and so did I. My father hadn't changed a bit. He was still that cultured and cool man. The difference was that he was without the beard. I found it particularly strange because he loved his beard and mustache; he never shaved them off his whole life, never, and now suddenly he appears to me without them.

"Father!" I exclaimed. "What happened to..."

He bowed his head. My father wasn't much for talking. His brown eyes looked up at me, and I saw tears in them.

"Oh, my little girl! Look at you. You're so strong, so beautiful. You look like you've grown more..."

I laughed between sobs.

"I hugged him tightly. I closed my eyes and felt the warmth of the tears on my cheeks. I was crying so hard that I was sobbing.

"It's okay, dear," my mother consoled me, stroking my loose hair. I took her hands in mine and hugged her too. "It's okay, sweetheart. You're safe here."