Bad idea//fillie

Chapter 23

WARNING: If topics like self harm, depression, suicide, drugs, trigger you then it's best you don't continue.

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Finn arrived home, he walks to the kitchen where he see's his mother washing dishes. He goes up to her and takes the dirty dishes. "I'll wash them."

"How was your day sweetie?" she asks

"Fine," he mutters. His day was just like any other day. 

"I bought you something," she says smiling

"Mom I told you I don't want you spending money on me,"

"Finn you are my son, my whole world. I hope you like it," she hands him the guitar.

Finn looks at the brand new electric guitar. He has one but hasn't fixed it, he taught himself how to play when he was younger. He has it in the cabin somewhere.

"How much was it?"

"Doesn't matter. Do you like it?"

"I love it. Thank you mom," he kisses her head. "But this is a lot. You should return it,"

"Don't be ridiculous Finn. The guitar is yours," after Millie had left the diner and left her a very generous tip. Mary was able to pay the "over due" bills and she still had more than enough money to buy him the guitar that she had been saving up for her son. 

"Go get some rest," he says. He hugs his mother and thanks her again for the present.

"Thank you my sweet boy," she kisses his cheek before she walks to her room.

Finn finishes washing the dishes, and packs his mother some lunch for her overnight shift at the diner. He goes to his room and take out a bottle of vodka. He drinks the vodka leaving the bottle almost empty. He then grabs the white powder and rolls a bill before snorting the cocaine.

He falls back on his bed, staring at the ceiling as he lets the drugs kick in. Drugs are a form of escapism. It was his way to feel numb, to let loose. He's been abusing drugs for a year now. At first it was just to experiment to try it out. As soon as he understood that drugs make you feel good, he started taking more. He would mix them, to make him feel numb, to make him feel nothing than just the high.

Drugs meant an escape for him. An escape from reality. An escape from every shitty thing that has ever happened to him.

He didn't ask for this.He never wanted to become a drug dealer and be part of this business but people like him are never given a choice. This way he is able to provide food, a home, for his mother.

His mother, the women that he would do anything for. his mother who deserves the best, the one who has stuck with him since a baby. She has never abandoned him, unlike his father. He owes everything to her, he loves her.

His mind drifts else where as the drugs are intoxicating his system. He thinks about Millie, the girl that he swore to dislike and not get close to. The only girl that has been able to stay on his mind for this long. The rich girl, who is portrayed as perfect but is abused by her father and self harms as a form of escapism. The type of pain that is comforting.

Something about her is so addicting like a drug. She is his drug, his favorite drug. 

His eye caught the black bag sitting on the corner of his room, reminding him of the product he needs to sell. Tomorrow he is going to a party, his best way to sell the drugs is at those rich high school parties.

He let's his body rest for a while, (sleep) something his body desperately needs. His mind is at 'peace', his body feeling heavy as he falls asleep.