You got one chance to say your love use it

its not you fault its not your fault Part 14

i sat next to ralph he slowly fell asleep and the nurse came in "oh well i wont wake him he is going to have a small surgery he broke his rib." she told me i nodded and they took him away i sat there it felt like agony waiting for him to come back what if something happened what must have been two hours later he came back we sat there until night they were closing so i had to go "ill bring you something nice ok?" i said he nodded and i left i went home and locked myself in my room great hes hurt now because he wanted a job i should have stopped him i should have known i should have checked on him when he didn't pick me up i thought i cried peter knocked on the door "go away worm." i said he quit knocking "henry let me in please." peter said i got a little mad every time i say go away people keep coming over "NO worm now leave me alone." i said i could hear him pace back and forth like he does when hes trying to think or get something like he did before when we were younger he more stomped then paced but always when he was thinking of how to get me in trouble he didn't leave "Why why do you want in here anyways ." i said i heard him stop but only for a second "i just wanted to talk." he said i could tell he was struggling to find the words he needed and words i could understand "i dont want to talk to anyone anymore!" i said angrily i grabbed my backpack it had snacks water bottles an extra coat and sweater and chlose i stuffed my note book and diary in there and stuffed my heavy coat in i put on a hoodie i opened the window and slowly climbed out peter said something "fine you can come in!"  i yelled hoping he would think i was in my room well he did and i ran to the shops i had a few cents not enough to buy anything i waited for a few seconds before climbing back up and grabbing my money 3$ and 47 cents just enough to buy some candy so i did just that im not going back to the house or he'll try to talk to me and im not in the mood for that right now i found a quiet ally to sit in it was closed off in the back i grabbed my notebook i drew gory things demons blood ect. i put it back and slept i wasn't gonna leave this ally i woke up in my bed my backpack was still on me i sat up what happened why did my head hurt so much how did i get here maybe peter went and found me and took me home what time was it i have work and i gotta watch the dog peter would feed the pets fuck its 10 pm i slept to long hopefully peter got the dog i ran downstairs every step was loud and made my head hurt more i stood at the last steep i heard peter in the kitchen he was talking but no one was responding i walked in him and emrald were standing there well emrald wasn't standing of course "hurry i have to get to work but also watch the dog." i said my head was still pounding peter looked up and blushed from embaresment "i dont think thats possible." peter said i stared at him and sighed "i have to figure it out I can't now come on." i said angrily grabbing the leash i would just have to explain and hope i could do something away from everyone i ran out to the car emrald got in and sat next to me i picked her up and put her on my lap peter got in but didn't start the car "henry i just want to talk to you." he said he said my name hesitently i felt angry again i dont want to just talk i dont trust those talks they always end up bad i petted emrald harder and faster "i dont want to just talk and I NEVER WILL." i said clenching my teeth he looked back but started the car i was still confused and my head hurt with every question i had why did he bring me back how did he find me why did he find me why didn't he leave like he was supposed to why didn't he just ignore it what if he got hurt to what would happen if he didnt what if someone else saw me what if someone tried to hurt us he looked at me he could tell i was confused scared and mad "whats wrong henry please just tell me." peter said i looked at him then down at the floor emrald put her paw on my leg i looked back at him i was still scared "why did you bring me back home?" i said his face turned shocked and he looked at me "because henry im not leaving you in an ally why would you think i would?" he said i looked down again "because thats what everyone else does and i still have questions." i said we were in the parking lot i got out the boss was there "im sorry im sorry i just had a rough night and i need to know if theres anyway to bring this dog in im supposed to watch her." I bowed to say sorry he looked at me he was in a suit "you're 20 minutes late and you can't bring a dog in." he said angrily i looked at the dog and I put her in the car he looked at me "listen (sigh) you can go in there but just dont mess up." he said i nodded and went in i did my best until the end of the day when i got picked up by peter i looked at him all my questions and fears came back i cried silently "p-p-peter i still have questions please can you answer me?" i asked him he nodded "yeah what else do you want to ask?" he said i wasn't fully trusting him "why didn't you just leave me i know why you brought me home but why didn't you just leave me in the first place?" i said he looked at me again "because henry why would i ever ignore it if you weren't safe your my brother and i love you." he said i looked at him like i was looking for sympathy and i knew it was there "how did you find me why did you find me?" i asked him "i found you by walking around the town but i didn't find you someone else asked me what i was looking for i told him and they took me to you i found you because i was scared for you." he said i blushed embarrassingly Someone saw me asleep  "well then why what if you got hurt what if i got hurt because someone else saw me?" i said shaking and crying he seemed nervous as well "if i got hurt i would just put on some bandaids if someone hurt you i would try to help you." he said i was scared and his answer made me more scared he didn't have a plan like ussally he looked at me "hey guess what tommarow you get to get Ralph."  He said trying to change the subject and I was fine with that I didn't want to talk about it "YAYYY!" I yelled he smiled a weird smile atleast it felt weird from him "do you want to see him?" He asked I nodded excitedly "ok." He said no we did we got there the nurse knew what we were here for "he's still in the same room just go up there." She said boredly I ran upstairs to the room he was in and ran in I gave him a big hug "ralphie." I said he hugged me back but he didn't seem happy "what's wrong?" I asked him what if something happened to him "ahh! Nothing I just didn't realize you were here." He said he smiled not a real smile though "what's wrong you can't trick me with that now tell me what happened." I said he looked and our eyes met "I'm-im just scared for everyone else what if it got hurt I know you would think it's your fault you would never forgive yourself I know that because of how you react to bad things like other peoples pain and Peter might try his nerdy stuff and if he does anything could happen and that park girl she would find out and that would be sad for her and then rossily she might get upset and I don't really trust her the way she acted when we met her but I'm sure she was just surprised and I just don't want anybody to be upset and i just don't know but it would be my fault they were sad-." He said but I cut him off "no it's not your fault and you get to come home tomorrow so you can't be hurt ok don't blame yourself it was that lady's fault it will never be your fault." I said he nodded "ok but just don't do anything." He said I smiled if he didn't want me to do anything I wouldn't we sat there silently and solmly for a while before i had to leave i went to the car peter was waiting for me "i just want to bring him home hes scared for us hes hes scared ill blame myself hes scared because he thinks you'll do some smart person thing he doesn't trust rossily as much and hes scared about the girl in the par- i mean." i said he smiled "oh i know all about the park girl you do relize i volanter at the park you weren't luck i just ignored it i felt like it was important for you." he said