We MaDe It

27.

"Zayn, good morning. It's been a while."

It had been a while since he's seen his therapist. But needs must. Things weren't going as planned and he was feeling on edge. When he starts feeling like that he would normally turn to Louis. With the latter cut out of the picture, the next best thing was the therapist.

"How you've been?" The therapist asked.

"I'm still breathing." Zayn said taking a seat.

"So you are." The therapist nodded.  "You look well. How are the kids?"

"They're growing fast and taller than me." Zayn smiled looking the therapist. "Yazz turned sixteen this year."

"Time flies doesn't it?" The therapist said. "How are you and Harry been? The last we spoke was years now. I think it's when Harry asked for divorce then left."

"I forgot Harry ever asked me for divorce thanks for that." Zayn scoffed crossing his legs. "Tell me which psychologist brainiac thought digging up old graves would help mend the living? It doesn't by the way."

"Blame Freud and his trust issues." The therapist said chuckling. "Sorry for bringing the divorce. Just shows how long it's been since you were last here. So, are you going to tell me how you and Harry have been as a couple?"

"We're in a good place. We even dedicated a day where we have alone time. Just the two of us talking about anything really." Zayn smiled to himself. "Fridays."

Him and Harry chose Fridays for their alone time. A time when the kids would be at school. They would spend the morning in bed. Not doing the naughty but cuddling and chatting and reconnecting as a couple.

"Today is Friday." The therapist pointed out. "Why are you talking to me about your feelings instead of Harry? Not that I mind."

Zayn ran a hand through his hair, uncrossing his legs. "He's in hospital."

"Is he alright?"

Harry wasn't discharged as planned after surgery at request of oncology team in charge of his overall care. He stayed one more night as precaution. Zayn could not help wonder if it was more than precaution and doctors were holding back information from them.

Zayn glanced down on his lap, "I never told you but Harry has cancer. Diagnosed four years back and has been in remission. But now it's back. It's spreading."

"Zayn, I am so sorry to hear that. How is he dealing with it all if you don't mind me asking?"

Zayn started playing with a thread on his shirt. "Harry is Harry. He's got a positive outlook on everything and took that on the chin."

He then paused to take a deep breath. Breaking down wasn't on the memo for the day.

The therapist looked at him as Zayn chewed on his bottom lip trying not to cry.

"And how are you dealing, Zayn?"

"Since finding that out, I fight negative thoughts with a smile on my face." Zayn replied. "Every day."

"Negative thoughts are brought out by fear, Zayn. It's human nature to have fears but it's important not to let them drag you down. A positive outlook is what keeps us going. Makes us want to fight."

"You must admit it's hard to stay positive when the inevitable is going to happen anyway and it's out of your hands_" Zayn let out a shaky breath not able to fight the overwhelming feeling to not break down.

The therapist gave him glass of water and tissues then returned to his seat, let him have a moment as Zayn wiped tears, crying quietly.

"What's your biggest fear, Zayn? At this moment." He asked after a minute.