I don't know what I was doing having fucking unprotected sex with him, I get we were drunk and weren't thinking straight but I damn well know I should've been smarter. I jumped his ass about it too, he should've been smarter as well.
I never wanted kids, I hate them, the idea of pushing something out of me and all the other things that happen with it terrifies and disgusts me, babies are fucking disgusting looking, dad told me I used to throw up in his mouth, I don't want to be thrown up on.
As I sit on the toilet that's all I think about, if this fucking test is positive I'm going to jump down some stairs just to have a miscarriage, I don't want it, and with abortion being illegal in my state, I can't get rid of it. I took birth control right after the test. I now stare at the damned thing. I'm waiting.... And then I see it. Two lines. TWO FUCKING LINES. I break the test and run up a flight of stairs ready to jump. And push one foot forward and before I knew it, I was falling.
