Practice (AU)

Chapter 3

"Did you want chicken and rice or-" His room smelt as if something was burning. "Are you smoking in here?!" She said loudly. He'd just pulled his pants up. "No." He'd tucked his lighter in his pocket. He sniffled wiping his face. "I smell tobacco-" She noticed the small sobs that escaped from his lips and how he seemed to be shaking. "Honey, are you okay?" She asked sitting on the edge of his bed. "'M fine mum." The pain intensified and another sob escaped. "No, you're clearly not." She wrapped her arms around him. His entire thigh felt like it was burning. She kissed the top of his head. "Alex you can talk to me I love you so much." She told him. "If only she knew." He thought to himself. He felt an abnormal amount of pain. He clutched it with his hand. His breathing was irregular and he had tears collecting on his chin. "Please talk to me what's wrong? Are you in pain?" He lied and shook his head from side to side. "Mum 'm fine." He whispered. "No, you're not. I've been your mum long enough to know your pain face, same one you made falling off of Jerry Davenport's swing set." She'd recognized it as she ran her fingers through his hair smoothing it. "Show me where it hurts." He shook his head side to side once more. He couldn't burden her with what he'd done to himself.

"Mum no I am fine." He said wiping his face. The pain was still there but he pretended as if it had gone away. "And what was that smell from earlier?" She asked. He shrugged. "Honey, can I see your arms?" He looked at her confused. She'd had enough students to know what teenagers did to themselves sometimes. She put on a strong face but deep down she was terrified. She looked at them praying they were clean. "A-and your thighs?" She asked calmly. "Wha' why?" He asked defensively. "Well I need to make sure you're not hurting yourself, dear, it's silly I know you're not." She said smiling sadly. "I'm not." He said crossing his arms over his chest. "Can you just show me so I can be sure?" She asked. "No, leave me alone." He'd raised his voice. She remembered when she'd first walked in and he'd been pulling his jeans up. At first, she'd thought something else and almost turned to leave. She looked down. "Alex please?" She had tears in her eyes. He felt so guilty. "No." He said again. "I can help...I promise I can." "No." He got up and went downstairs. She followed him quickly. "You are not leaving this house!" She yelled.

His dad got up from his seat. "Oh like hell I am." He said back. "Hey! Watch your mouth." His dad interjected, his voice booming. Alex slipped on his shoes. "David stop him!" His father got in front of the door so he turned and went out the back. "Alex!" She pleaded. He finally stopped in his tracks. "Why can't you just show me?" His eyes felt hot once more. "Show you what?" His dad asked she ignored it. "Fine." He said. He didn't have any more fight, he didn't want to cause them more stress. She followed him upstairs. He pulled his jeans down and then she saw the marks. "Oh, Alex..." She said sadly walking away. He pulled them back up. He felt the disappointment radiating from her. "Why?" She asked through her tears. He didn't respond. "'M going to find someone for you to talk to." She finally said. She sat down beside him and took his hand. "Sweetheart...why?" She finally asked. He didn't want to say anything, he'd rather be anywhere else at that moment. "How did I not realize y-you were struggling?" She asked herself. "'M sorry if I disappointed you." He finally spoke. She looked at him intently. "You could never disappoint me, I am very concerned but we will get through this just like everything else."

He wasn't put at ease he felt more anxiety. He wanted to run but there was nowhere to go. "Can I go for a drive?" He asked her, he just wanted to get away for a while. "Okay, but we will talk about this when you get home." He nodded. He took her keys and left in an instant. He felt relieved when the car started and he heard the engine hum. He turned the soft rock up slowly as he backed out of the driveway. He wanted to call Matt and tell him everything but it's not as if he knew in the first place. There was one person he could talk to but he didn't have the guts to dial. "You only live once." He told himself clicking the contact name as he drove in the direction of his neighborhood. "Hello? Who is this?" They'd never spoken on the phone. Miles had given Alex his number the last time they'd hung out, it had been almost a month and he'd never used it. "I-it's Alex." He almost dropped the phone. "Oh, shit...w-why are you calling? Did someone die?" He asked worriedly. Alex chuckled. "Nobody died relax Kane...I dunno 'm around your area and I wondered if you wanted t-to hang out. I could use the company a bunch of shit jus' happened with- it's not important, the point is I could use some company." He'd been rambling. Miles fell silent for a moment. "Sure let me get dressed have you got me address?" "No send it." He knew the boy lived in Woodchester homes but he wasn't sure of the exact number.