Practice (AU)

Chapter 5

As the warm water ran in the shower next to them the boy's head fell back a gasp escaping his lips. His lip raised and his whimpers became louder, his hands were in his hair. They were at the very end of the showers, closed off. The rest of the team had left, the coach remained in his office. They'd hear if he left it. Miles calculated they had 40 minutes until he turned the lights off. He concentrated on making him feel as good as possible. His gasps and soft curses filled the air, he was extremely skilled, the awkward practices on banana as a teenager paid off. He felt the grip on his hair tighten, he could tell he was getting close. "Oh fuck." Alex whispered feeling the sensation he'd been desperately craving. He was being pushed over that ledge. Miles felt the light twitching in his mouth. "Oh fuckkk." He whispered as his thighs buckled, he'd finished. His eyes fluttered open to see the boy wiping his mouth with his hand. He stood up as Alex fixed his pants. He felt flustered under his gaze. "Let's go get summat to eat." Alex suggested as they walked out.

"Miles what if we went to get dinner?" He suggested. "Like a date?" He asked curiously. "I mean i-it doesn't have too be one or it could-" "Yes Alex." He said laughing taking his hand moving closer to him. He'd made sure no one was in sight. "Perfect then it's a date." He said grinning, his heart lightly fluttered each time he got a kiss. He ran his hand through his long hair. He walked with him to his car, the lights flickered. He released his hand to light his cigarette, Miles did the same. They instinctively brought them back together. Alex rested his head onto his shoulder. "Alex?!" They jerked their hands from each other but it was too late. Guilty faces. Matt had the most confused look on his face. He'd been taking a leak in the woods. The boy puffed his cigarette unsure if he'd saw it or not. He was terrified, a mixture of fear and anxiety coursed through his veins. This was his closest friend aside from Miles, he'd known him since they were little. Time felt like it had been slowed as he awaited the judgement, his eyes watered. "I'll see ya tomorrow." He said with a very confused look on his face. He looked over at Miles who was at a loss of words.

"Fuck." He lightly sniffled. "Hey hey no need for tha' it's 'lright." Miles said trying to comfort him. "That's me best friend Miles I can't loose him he'll never talk to me again I-" His fears were getting the best of him, why couldn't they have just kept things more private? It felt impossible to be with him and also keep his secret. He contemplated the risk and the reward. Was it worth loosing everyone? His mum was getting suspicious he could feel it and now Matt knew. "Maybe t-this isn't such a good idea." He said quietly. "What?" Miles asked, his entire demeanor changing. "It's only a matter of time before it's me dad o-or your mum." He said quietly. "Al you can't possibly be suggesting-" He started to say. "Miles what's the endgame? Everyone magically gets on board...I mean w-what are we even doing here? Some of the other lads would put us on a fuckin' tree if they knew." His fears were getting the best of him and he could tell. "Please Al...I love you." He whispered. That had been the first time either of them said it. Alex's mouth closed as he looked to his shoes as if they had any answers . He didn't understand why he loved him, he'd seen him at his worst. If he were Miles he would've ran away when he first got the chance. Instead of allowing himself to be happy he self sabotaged out of fear. "And I love you but...these are me friends- m-me band mates. Miles I can't keep risking everyone finding out." He whispered. "I understand tha'." He said biting his tongue. "So what are you suggesting?" He asked frowning. "I'm suggesting maybe we should jus' go back to being friends." He couldn't believe it left his mouth but the damage was already done. "Great to know where I stand." He said sniffling. "Miles babe-" He stopped himself. "No no it's fine I'll see you tomorrow." He said walking away to his own car. The black Nissan had too many memories. Alex felt a lump in his throat as he turned the ignition on in his truck. "Fuck!" He yelled lightly sobbing. The only thing good in his life was now over and all he could do was try and get over it.

It was almost impossible. His parents noticed his demeanor changed, he'd gotten colder and quieter. Miles didn't come around as usual raising questions. She suspected he had something to do with this new attitude, they'd gotten into a screaming match over dirty laundry. He was so bitter. "Hello Alex it's great to meet you." His therapist Mr. Schwartz had a voice that made him want to roll his eyes back in annoyance. "It's great to be here." He said awkwardly sitting down. "Mrs. Turner I presume." "That would be correct." His mum smiled and gave him a thumbs up before leaving the room. Now it was just the two of them, since when did therapy feel like an interrogation? He was asked many questions, he hated getting personal with strangers. "So what is the reason that brings you here?" He asked curiously. "Um," He played with his jeans. "Me mum wanted me to go." He told him nodding. "And the reason for that is?" Alex didn't say anything, Mr. Schwartz had his work cut out for him. The hour was long and unbearable, they got almost nowhere. "Alex everything you say in this room is confidential you do understand?" He asked. "Yep." He replied nodding. "I don't even want to be here this is pointless 'm sorry if I wasted your time." He told him. "You aren't wasting my time, first sessions are always the most difficult but hopefully as you come back you'll find yourself sharing more." He said. "I don't like getting personal with strangers, no offense." He retorted brushing his hair from his face. "Understandable we have to build a trust."