Heartstone

Lasagna Soil

They arrived at the dining hall and took their places as they had the night before, on either end of the long table. This time, the chairs were slightly singed. Arwin kept a wary eye on the ever-present giant tarantula above the hearth. There was no fire burning this day; it was unnecessary in the warmth of the early evening.

The door to the kitchen opened, and out came two black gremlins dressed in crisp, white chef's coats, with tall white mushroom-like hats on their heads. Between them, they carried a large, covered silver platter that sparkled in the room's candlelight.

Orchid apologetically half-shrugged. "I knew we'd be busy this afternoon, so I asked for some help in the kitchen." Her hand fidgeted slightly on the table, the only indication that she was nervous. They'd already had multiple food disasters; were they about to have another?

The smell of tonight's meal hit Arwin's nose. Astonished, he started salivating. "No. It couldn't be!"

She sharply looked at him, worried. "Be what?"

The black gremlins lifted the platter and slid it onto the table, then reached as high as they could to remove the cover. Upon the platter sat the world's most glorious food.

Not hiding any of his joy, Arwin exclaimed, "Lasagna! I love lasagna. It's my favourite. How did you know?"

Her eyebrows rose. "You...you're not disgusted?"

He deeply inhaled, the mouthwatering scent practically lifting him off his seat. "Are you kidding? I could eat this forever." He gazed at the dish. Layer after layer of warm, savoury meat, rich tomato sauce, thick noodles and scrumptious melted cheeses. He could see flecks of green that probably hinted at spinach and other vegetables finely chopped up into the sauce. The mozzarella on top had been baked to a perfect golden brown. It was spectacular. His stomach rumbled.

One of the gremlins whipped out a knife as big as his own arm and handed it to Orchid. She rose and sliced a large cube of lasagna for Arwin and another for herself, then served them while the gremlins took their leave.

Savoury steam wafted up into Arwin's nostrils. He had to hold back and wait for his hostess to start, but the instant her fork touched her food, he dove into his own. Hot pasta and meat touched his tongue, and he moaned. "Heaven!"

She smiled, pleased. "I'm glad you like it. Though I'm surprised that you know what lasagna soil is. I didn't think they had that sort of thing in Drearia, it being magically derived and all."

"Lasagna soil?" He swallowed and immediately stuffed his mouth full again. "Weird name. Why soil?"

She looked at him like he was crazy, as if the answer should be perfectly obvious to anyone. "Well, because it is. It's part of the ground. I believe the technical name for the soil type is gar. There are whole fields of it."

His mouth stopped. "Huh?"

"Lasagna soil is a naturally occurring substance that bubbles up and forms near magma hot spots along the Bleeding Rift. It's formed in the soil. Farmers harvest the gar field, place the lasagna under stasis spells to keep it from spoiling and ship it all over Heartstone. How do they do it in Drearia?"

He glanced down at his food. "I'm eating dirt?"

"No, of course not. Not exactly. It's pasta, ground meat, vegetables, cheeses, and other things. I don't know exactly what else; I'm not a lasagna soil farmer. And I've certainly never studied food-bearing geology." She laughed. "Don't worry, it's not dirt, per se. It's food; it just comes from the soil. That kind of thing is normal in Heartstone, trust me."

He stared at the food. Magic at work again. Lasagna soil. He was literally eating edible layers of the geological crust. That was strange.

She paused. "You...don't like it now?"