Alpha's Fallen Angel

Chapter 38-Amara

My face is drained of color, and I feel dizzy. He knew, he knew without me even looking at him. So that means anyone else who knew about this prophecy or whatever would know, just by looking at me. I must sway on my feet a little bit because Roman pulls me to his lap. I take a couple deep breaths to calm myself, trying to keep my voice from breaking.

"How did you know?" I ask

"Your aura. I've never seen anything like it. Fae can read auras, it's like a 6th sense in a way. Yours screams power, royalty, darkness, light, chaos..." Thayer says, pausing to think before continuing "I think it's safe to say any fae would know what you were. As for other species I cannot say. You've been a whispered legend for over a millenia, there's literature as I said, but some think it's a fairytale. The vampires have had quite some time to think about how and what they will do with you, them wanting you isn't exactly a secret. The vampire king reached out to me, asking for the Fae's legends about you."

"The vampire king?" I ask

"King Silas. He's not the typical vampire, very little is known about him, even if he's actually a full blooded vampire, he's certainly made it a point to stay hidden, save for when he asked for access to my library. What I do know about him is that his gifts go beyond that of any vampire. His glamor isn't even truly considered glamor at all, he can control minds. Had I not had my own thick mental walls, he would have easily ascertained access to my library, and anything I knew about you. I've since enchanted all my books, as have any other Fae clan in this area, so that only those with good intent can read them. When I met him, I felt his claws in my mind, so if you stand any chance at not becoming his prisoner, you need to work on your mental shields."

"Prisoner? I thought they just wanted to drink my blood to inherit my power?"

"No. If they did that, they would only absorb a kernel of your power. He will want you to do his bidding, be his slave. I don't know what he has planned, but you're the strongest being in all the realms. There's very little known about what powers you have, but it is known that you're royalty. You could go to any realm and rule it, just under the gods and demigods." Thayer says

Selene help me, I put a hand on my throat and swallowed. My mouth felt dry, I knew they were after me obviously, but the idea of this supposed king using me for whatever evil deeds he wanted to carry out...

"We've known about this for less than two weeks, Amara, as of right now, only has control over her demon side. Her wolf is holding back her angel powers. We know nothing of her powers beyond that." Roman cuts in

"I see. The Fae have little to no business with the vampires, so I cannot offer any insight on their current whereabouts or plans. All I can tell you is that they want nothing to do with drinking her blood. Perhaps a little here or there, but they won't drain her, or risk draining her powers. I suggest she gains control of her powers immediately, ideally in a desolate place. If what I saw in the forest is even a speck of the power she holds, she could easily cause much damage."

Indeed, the power buzzing beneath my skin threatened to take over my panic. I pushed it back, with great effort. This wasn't even its full potential. I have no memory of what I did in the forest, which in and of itself is scary, but based on the hints I've heard, it wasn't pretty. My head was spinning, and I just wanted to be back at the cottage with Roman. Pretending this wasn't happening, pretending I was just simply a she wolf living in bliss with her new mate.

I stood up, not wanting to hear anymore. I would deal with this later. Where would I even train? There's nowhere around here that could afford to be destroyed. I don't know why I was the one "blessed" with this bullshit, I couldn't even recognize when I was being tricked into a mating bond. Selene and whatever demon overlords must have been drunk when they decided I was the right one for this.

I go to walk out, feeling the black mist leak from my fingertips but when I go to take a step, I can't move forward.

'Amara. You cannot avoid this, you cannot pretend this isn't happening. These powers will manifest regardless of whether you want it to or not. Sit back down and listen, you are not some vampires pet. They will find you, and if you have no control over this then you don't stand a chance. Powers or no, you have less than two months worth of combat training under your belt, you couldn't even fight your way out of this' Tamisra says in my head

I grit my teeth at her and snarl. I try to will myself to take a step again, but she holds me in place. I don't want this! I just want a simple life, a happy life-

'Well we will not get that, and we have no chance of having a happy life if you're in denial about this!' Tamisra says, interrupting my mental dialogue

'Stay the fuck out of my thoughts!' I snap back at her

'I'm part of your mind, so good luck with that, now sit the fuck down. Let Roman do the talking if you're so inclined to not accept this.' she snarls back at me with equal venom.

In my fury, she must grab another tether of control I let slip because I'm suddenly sitting back down in Roman's lap, against my will. I go to snarl at her again, but I remember I'm in a room full of people. Who all happen to be looking at me with their eyebrows raised. Great. Just fucking great. Now I look like an idiot. Stupid fucking wolf. I know my face has gone from pale to bright red. Roman, thankfully, must be feeling my emotions at full blast because he takes control of the conversation.

"Do you think we could have access to whatever information you have on her?" he says to Thayer, effectively drawing everyone's attention back to them

"Of course. The Fae will be happy to ally with you, should it come to that. We are at your disposal. We dream of worlds at peace, and the tension between the angels and demons threatens to destroy any chance of that. Let alone whatever Silas wants to do with her. She's the only one with the ability to make that happen." Thayer says, sounding confident. Even though I didn't. I couldn't even control my bitch of a wolf, how in the bloody fuck am I supposed to make peace on earth happen? Let alone in Heaven or Hell? Bloody stupid. Stupid is what this is. Simply, utterly, stupid.

I don't care how childish I am, I didn't ask for this, I didn't want this. At no point in my life have I wanted this. All I wanted for the last 3 years was my parents back, for them to make it better. When I was a child, they could make anything better. But no, I was not a child anymore, and they were dead. There was no one who could make this better. No one who would make me a hot chocolate at night when I was scared and chase the fear away while I drank it. No, I couldn't even go to my mom to talk about it, she was dead. Dead. Unable to even give me the pep talk to handle it myself. Like the time she talked me up to killing the spider in my room. No, she couldn't even listen to my problems.

Everyone is still talking, but I don't hear what they say. It doesn't matter anyways, I will fail. I may have this power within me, but I am not of strong mind. I don't know how to overcome this despair that has clouded me since the day I watched my parents' slaughter. I am a waste, an utter waste. Selene, Hades, and Zeus had it wrong when they chose me for this. I would fail, I would fail because I couldn't even conquer happiness.

Feeling Tamisra let go of her hold on me, I get up and walk out of the room. I just wanted to snuggle up to my cat, sleep, and pretend this wasn't happening. Yes, let me fall into blissful unawareness. Sweet darkness. I ignore everyone who asks me where I'm going, it doesn't matter anyway. My mate, the only person left who matters, knows exactly where I'm going. He stays silent, I know that much. I could pick his voice out of all those that were now drowning me.

I get to our room, Nisha nowhere in sight. It's fine, I've been alone these last 3 years, I would be alone and stay alone now. It doesn't matter. I don't need to learn about me, I don't need to learn about these powers. Even if that Silas dude took control of my mind, he couldn't wield them if no one, not even me knew how to do so. He wouldn't find one simple thread of understanding about them. Let him take me, I don't care.

I crawl into bed and force every single thought out of my head. It doesn't matter, I am nothing. I would fail even if I tried, so instead, I let myself fall into that sweet, sweet, blessed darkness.