The Dawn.

7. Life and surprises

Karan

What's home ?
A place you find peace, right ? And where do you find your peace? In different places, for people who loves their space and own company finds it when they are alone. People who enjoy company feels it when they are most likely having a conversation and for people who reads, find their home between the pages of books. A new born finds it when they are tucked in the embrace of their mother being fed their food.

For different people it's different. And for the people who are in love- well for them,they'd find themselves peaceful when they are in their lovers arms, when they have their love beside them. Free from worries of the world. Because whatever the world is for them their world starts and ends in one person. And I proudly, deliberately and totally fallen would say, I'm one among them.

I find peace when I see her face, her smile soothes my cracked heart and her laughs are like music, her talks like melody to it, her kisses feel out of the world and the way she looks at me with all the love in the world, that's unexplainable. Because that's just felt, you can't explain it to one, I could never explain. When I'm with her, when she's beside me just sitting beside me, or holding my hands, or resting her head against me or even just looking at me with those eyes. I feel at home. I feel like there could be no better place then this on earth and that's true.

Even now when I look at her, siting beside me as I lie down on bed, I find peace.

"Kya dhek rahe ho ?" That, that's what I say is melodic, her voice.

"Apni sukoon ko."

A reply and she smiles and it's so beautiful I can watch her smile every hour of the day.

"So jao Karan. You need to sleep."

Her hands go through my locks and I sigh closing my eyes. It's so refreshing. Mom used to do this earlier when I used to lie myself against her lap, and now my wife does and it feels like I'm still a kid who could be free of all these responsibilities and worries this world puts me through.

"I love you." It's merely above a whisper from me, as I open my eyes to look at her.

But she hears it and I can feel her leaning towards me.

She places her lips against my forehead, her hand still threading through my hair into my scalp.

"I love you too..." She whispers back, kissing me on the cheek.

My hand goes around her waist and I pull her over me. She looks up at me and I smile, softly. Her brows frow as I lean in.

"I'm sorry" I press a kiss on the corner of her lips.

"You don't have to be." Her eye softness and her fingers brush my cheeks.

She says I don't have to be sorry, and I, can't help but apologize to her. What I did being blinded by the pain is hurt her.She needed me too, just as I needed her. But all I did was build up wall between us instead of a bridge to share grief. I pushed her away where I should have pulled her even closer. And now all I have is regret.

Regrets are more painful than greif in itself. It's the possibilities and opertunities we let go. The opportunities we let go, thinking it was for good but now you know it would have been the most beautiful one. And thinking about it, what if I didn't do that, why did I do that, why ? Why didn't. Why would. And many more words show how vulnerably regretful we are.

"Regrets never let you anywhere, Karan. Take your regrets as a lesson not a punishment."

I would never know how she reads me like a fine book encrypted in the language she herself wrote.