Récits d'un amour compliqué

October 2021

dear you, dear me, dear someone,

i think i like being in love, i like being in love. i want to feel loved, and i wanted it a simple way. i think i just want to have what we had: being best friends, doing so much together and still be flirty with each other all the time, mess around with each other. i liked it when it was simple but i still like you.

dear you,

i think i like being in love, but not now because it hurts. it hurts in a way that i don't believe i have experienced before. i cannot get myself to accept that what we had created nothing for you.

dear you,

i want to be at your place, packing my things for uni or organizing my folders on your bed, and i want you to come behind me and kiss me on my neck. so that i can tell you that you're annoying, to what you would reply "i think the word you're looking for is funny". i want to see you on my bed, making jokes, and i just look at you while doing something else with this annoyed look because you are indeed funny.

dear you, i want you to come again unpredictably to my place, that after you put down your backpack you just look at me and tell me "i have a new song, and i think you're gonna like it!", i want to see you putting on the song, open your bag, get the weed. i want to see you roll at my desk like this is also your place, i want you to suggest that we watch something. i want you to sit by the window, opening your legs so that i sit in between them, that you light up the joint, and i want to see us there, just watching something funny or maybe something cute, smoking while you kiss me sometimes.

dear you,

i want to taste your lips, i have forgotten what they taste like. i have forgotten how your hands on my hips, on my body, on me make me feel. i have forgotten how fun it was to simply flirt with you. it all looked like a game, somewhere where we just had fun.

dear you,

i wish it didn't stop. i wish you wouldn't look at me and think that i'm so complicated and that it's too much for you, even though i get it.

dear you,

i miss you