Pearl Academy I The Emergence

Chapter 12

Transcript, 13th session: K. Foster Date: 7/17/20

Dr. Cale: Welcome back, Kelly. It's a while since I saw you. How are you?

K. Foster: I'm doing better. My grades have been consistently good and my days have been memorable.

Dr. Cale: Is that your way of telling me that you don't 'daywalk' anymore?

K. Foster: It's my way of telling you that I'm fine, Dr. Cale.

Dr. Cale: Right, well I'm still obliged to ask. Have you had any hallucinations lately? How are your dreams? Were you able to write them down? Karen let me know that you have not been able to remember some of them.

K. Foster: Karen is exaggerating. My dreams were probably not worth remembering. Or, here's a thought, maybe they're just normal dreams.

Dr. Cale: Dreams are never just dreams, Kelly. In some instances, they are a message from deep within your psyche. You and I both know that this is true. I've read your medical records over and over, you know? Your previous doctors believed that it was all made up in your head. A child's imagination. But we both know better, don't we?

K. Foster: M-maybe.

Dr. Cale: It all comes down to this, Kelly. You either run from your past-which will catch up to you eventually- or you can be prepared and be able to fight when it does rear its ugly head at you.

K. Foster: ...

Dr. Cale: It's okay if you want to start slow.

K. Foster: No, we can start now. All of my dreams start in the same way every time.

*****

"I knew you'd be in the same class as me, Kelly!" Sadie exclaims excitedly. "And you doubted it."

I did, I'll admit. But no one truly explained what those exams truly were. We walk side by side to our first class. Sadie and I nearly have the same schedule except for two classes. Our English and Math class are on opposite periods. "I was more concerned on whether I passed or not. It was a bit touch and go there for a bit." Sadie laughs, flipping her over her shoulder. She has such a vibrant personality that it astounds me. Sadie is so kind, so extroverted and so so full of life. It's so easy to feel insecure around her but she does everything in her power to be inclusive. We walk side by side to our first period.

A small crowd obstructs the door of our first class. "What's going on?" Sadie sighs, rolling her eyes and leading me down the hall. "Our first class was canceled. And I bet the rest of the day is too." I look back at my classmates. They all seem so excited to have a day off from school. I'm actually fairly disappointed. "Does this happen often?"

"Mmhm," Sadie nods her head vehemently, "There was one day last year that the faculty canceled all their classes and let us go into town just because a single teacher got sick."

"Really? Which teacher?"

"I don't really know," she tells me with a shrug, "they don't teach here anymore."

Sadie ends up taking me outside to sit in under the same tree that we sat under the day before with a few of her friends. I guess days like these no one does any kind of school work. It was fun for a while. Laughing and talking with friends. But then I got anxious. It happened in second. One moment I was talking about my siblings at home and then...I felt uneasy. "So your mom works from home? How does she manage being a full time mom and a full time worker?" I almost miss Tati's question entirely because of that feeling. It was a strange mixture of deja vu and anxiety.

Everything felt so familiar in that moment. My eyes took in every detail without thinking too much about it. The way the sunlight hit the school just right had me memorized for some reason. And just simply sitting here held something strange over me. Sadie nudged me with her elbow, snapping me out of my own mind. "Sorry, yes!" I look back at Tati. "It's not easy but she makes it work as best she can. Trust me, she makes mistakes but she owns up to them, which makes her the best mom."

I don't doubt that everyone realized when I zoned out because after that all their questions disappeared. They left me alone with my thoughts. "What do you think happened this time? I mean, last time was actually crazy." That made me perk up. I glance at Sadie questioningly. "A member of the faculty had died. Presumably." Presumably? How does one not know if someone died?

As soon as that thought passed, I knew how truly possible it was. "Yeah," Aubrey exclaims, "and the weirdest part was no one knew who he was. The Headmistress didn't even acknowledge his death other than giving us a couple days off." I felt a tinge in my chest at that. It made my whole heart ache for someone I didn't know. It's so sad to die without a single person remembering your name. It is such a sad death to experience. The conversation went in a different direction after that. I do my best to move on and follow the conversation but I get stuck. Like always.

*****

I left the girls before they went for lunch. I needed a moment for myself. The walk around the school took me to parts of the building that I had yet seen. The auditorium, the research center at the back of the library. I don't know how I even found these places but they weren't where I wanted to be.

My feet took me to right where I wished to be.

The Undercroft looks the same as I had left it. I don't think anyone comes down here on a regular basis. I wonder why Sadie left a clue down here in the first place. The clutter of boxes and other miscellaneous objects. Random things that were left down here to rot, like my jewelry box. I sit on the brownish red drapes that I had ripped out and grab the nearest box to me. It had nothing of interest in it. Some old folders and old books that actually held my interest. One of the books were handwritten. The book was leatherbound with a faded brown. The spine cracked as I carefully open it. It smells like time.

Many pages are unintelligible. I made it half way through the book when I finally find a page I could read.

'Tell me what I can do to make this easier for you to understand me. I know you want to help me but that's exactly what will hurt you and everyone else. The PL isn't your responsibility to grow and protect. It is mine. Please understand, don't look for me. Don't follow me. The path is a dangerous one. One that you won't survive. Stay where you are.-SC.'

It's a journal! Or a semblance of it. There are two different handwrittings on it. S. Cerelia is the first to write on this page, I think. The second is someone else. I can only guess it is a boy.

'Please tell me where you are. How can I find you? There are things you don't know and things you don't understand. My love for you is the only reason I keep fighting. I know you love me too, otherwise you wouldn't have answered me. It's been years since you have written back but I knew you were reading my words. You can't see everything that will happen. You can't know that either! I don't know what you've been through these last few years but I would like to see you. So would our friends. They miss you. Please come back and let us help you. Let me see you again.'

There wasn't an answer to this one. How did they not see each other if they spent ages sharing a book filled with their love letter? The next few pages are just his writings. She doesn't answer any of them. Or he didn't have the chance to give her the book. I feel that tinge in my heart again. It seems so tragic to love someone you can't be with. How sad.