ECHOES OF YOU

Chapter One

            1
I looked at the empty room and all the memories of the last six months flew like a Raging storm. It felt as though it had just happened the day before. The wound was back open and I just couldn’t hold my tears back anymore. I turned around and looked at my parents, hoping that they would change their minds once they saw how miserable I was.

“Do I have to do this?”

“Darling, this is the best we can do. The rest is up to you,” mom said comfortingly as she kissed my forehead.

“I know it’s been a while but I’m sure it won’t be that bad.” I could feel the worry in dad’s voice as he said that. I guess he didn’t think I was ready to go back. Maybe it was too soon or it wasn’t the right moment. I needed more time to process what had happened.

“Go get your bag, we don’t want you being late for school now do we?”
Walking out of the room, I felt empty. Like something had been snatched away from me. And I knew what had, and it was all my fault. No matter how many times my parents reassured me.

I got went straight to my room to grab my staff. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, especially since it was high school, but I just wanted it to be a normal first day back to school. I wanted to lay low for a while and stay away from all the attention.
I found my mom waiting for me downstairs, with my car keys in her hand.

“Leila, I think you are ready for them,” she said holding them towards me.

“I don’t know mom, it feels like I’m never going to be ready for them again,” I so wanted to cry but I chose to hold my tears back. I didn’t want her to worry more than she already did. She pulled me into an emotional embrace and I could feel her tears dropping on my shirt. Just then we heard the sound of a car honking.

“I called Sheila, and she agreed to be driving me to school from now on,” I tried to force a smile as I waved goodbye to her.

                                    *********

The drive was a very awkward one. I would have blamed it on the lousy music Sheila was playing, but I knew it was more to that. She was my best friend and I knew her more than she even knew herself.

“Go ahead what are you thinking?” I finally decided to break the silence.

“Nothing, I am not thinking about anything,” she said raising her voice a little bit higher it almost sounded like a shriek.

“I know you thinking it. Your voice just shrieked. So, you better just let it out,”

“Well, okay then,” she hesitated a little bit,

“I’m just wondering if you are okay going back. I know your parents think it’s the right time, but what about you? Are you ready to face it?”

I wanted to give her the right answer. But what was the right answer? Was the answer everyone wanted to hear or the one I knew right? I turned and looked outside the window; we were almost there. I could feel my chest harden, my heart was beating fast, and I almost forgot how to breathe for a while.

Maybe I was rushing things over again. Was I doing this for me or just for my parents so that they would feel more at ease knowing I was getting better? But was I getting better? The. Whys and what-ifs started flooding my mind. I knew I wasn’t ready to go back but it was necessary.

As we parked the car, I looked over at the students walking around the school. They all seemed carefree.

Maybe I was overthinking everything, it was all in my head and I just needed to clear it.

“We can stay here for a while if you want to. Or I can just turn this car around and we can spend the entire day in your room eating ice cream and binge-watching some 90’s comedy that you probably don’t like,” she was way more nervous than I was.

“I’ll be fine. Let’s just get to class. It’ll be better if I’m not late for my first class back,”

“Are you sure? You know it wasn’t easy for me when I came back. But I know it’s hard for you, so I’ll understand if you ask me to turn around,” by this time, I was almost laughing at her. She looked hilarious shaking over there on my behalf. She looked at me and smiled. What would i do without her?