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I looked at the empty room and all the memories of the last six months flew like a Raging storm. It felt as though it had just happened the day before. The wound was back open and I just couldn’t hold my tears back anymore. I turned around and looked at my parents, hoping that they would change their minds once they saw how miserable I was.
“Do I have to do this?”
“Darling, this is the best we can do. The rest is up to you,” mom said comfortingly as she kissed my forehead.
“I know it’s been a while but I’m sure it won’t be that bad.” I could feel the worry in dad’s voice as he said that. I guess he didn’t think I was ready to go back. Maybe it was too soon or it wasn’t the right moment. I needed more time to process what had happened.
“Go get your bag, we don’t want you being late for school now do we?”
Walking out of the room, I felt empty. Like something had been snatched away from me. And I knew what had, and it was all my fault. No matter how many times my parents reassured me.
I got went straight to my room to grab my staff. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, especially since it was high school, but I just wanted it to be a normal first day back to school. I wanted to lay low for a while and stay away from all the attention.
I found my mom waiting for me downstairs, with my car keys in her hand.
“Leila, I think you are ready for them,” she said holding them towards me.
“I don’t know mom, it feels like I’m never going to be ready for them again,” I so wanted to cry but I chose to hold my tears back. I didn’t want her to worry more than she already did. She pulled me into an emotional embrace and I could feel her tears dropping on my shirt. Just then we heard the sound of a car honking.
“I called Sheila, and she agreed to be driving me to school from now on,” I tried to force a smile as I waved goodbye to her.
*********The drive was a very awkward one. I would have blamed it on the lousy music Sheila was playing, but I knew it was more to that. She was my best friend and I knew her more than she even knew herself.
“Go ahead what are you thinking?” I finally decided to break the silence.
“Nothing, I am not thinking about anything,” she said raising her voice a little bit higher it almost sounded like a shriek.
“I know you thinking it. Your voice just shrieked. So, you better just let it out,”
“Well, okay then,” she hesitated a little bit,“I’m just wondering if you are okay going back. I know your parents think it’s the right time, but what about you? Are you ready to face it?”
I wanted to give her the right answer. But what was the right answer? Was the answer everyone wanted to hear or the one I knew right? I turned and looked outside the window; we were almost there. I could feel my chest harden, my heart was beating fast, and I almost forgot how to breathe for a while.
Maybe I was rushing things over again. Was I doing this for me or just for my parents so that they would feel more at ease knowing I was getting better? But was I getting better? The. Whys and what-ifs started flooding my mind. I knew I wasn’t ready to go back but it was necessary.
As we parked the car, I looked over at the students walking around the school. They all seemed carefree.Maybe I was overthinking everything, it was all in my head and I just needed to clear it.
“We can stay here for a while if you want to. Or I can just turn this car around and we can spend the entire day in your room eating ice cream and binge-watching some 90’s comedy that you probably don’t like,” she was way more nervous than I was.
“I’ll be fine. Let’s just get to class. It’ll be better if I’m not late for my first class back,”
“Are you sure? You know it wasn’t easy for me when I came back. But I know it’s hard for you, so I’ll understand if you ask me to turn around,” by this time, I was almost laughing at her. She looked hilarious shaking over there on my behalf. She looked at me and smiled. What would i do without her?
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Teen FictionLeila reluctantly returns to school after a traumatic event. Her parents support her, but she's still struggling. Her best friend drives her to school and they have an awkward conversation about her readiness. Leila decides to go to class, but is un...