Findings

Chapitre 3

It was past 1:40 am. Pieck had felt so overjoyed back then that late afternoon when she had found the precious package in those barracks, but now, all she felt was sadness, discomfort and frustration. Among the dark silence of her apartment, she had dived into the silence Levi had once endured. Slumped on the couch, having spread the 38 letters all around her, she was reading all of it in one go.

"20th of October,

I'm sorry for everything I said to you on the last letters, but I'm so fucking worried, I knew it wasn't a good thing to let you alone this school year, what is happening to you? Please, tell me, I'll help you, I'll leave the barracks if you need me. Are your classes that tough? If you're having a crisis again of self trust, you're the smartest person I ever met, and don't answer "you didn't met a lot of person", cause Erwin agrees, and if Erwin says you're the smartest person he met, then you are, don't deny it, he doesn't compliment someone if he doesn't think so, especially his friends. You are so smart, you always amaze me even when I feel like I can't be surprised anymore by your skills. There's no class you can't follow, no exam you can't pass, fucking trust us, trust me. Just take a break, sleep for once, eat, and go back to work with all your strength. Nothing can stop you. Except yourself, maybe.

I sent a letter to Mike and Nanaba to know if they can check on you, since I don't know Moblit's address. They answered me yesterday saying that they had to leave the city for a month since Mike's mother doesn't feel good, but they try to get back in the next days, so expect their visit.

Please, don't wait for them to answer me, please, I can't stop thinking about you, about what may have happened to you, just one letter, please.

Take care. I love you so much.

Levi"

"21st of October,

Is it something I did? If yes, then explain me. I'll stop. Or I'll change, whatever you want. But you know I'm stupid with feelings and talking, and if I hurt you, I'm sorry, I really am, and I need you to explain how. It's all new to me, you're the only person ever I love like this, and the only one I want to live with. I can't think about future without you. The last months we spent living in your flat, waking up together, eating together, washing together, all those evenings I spent listening to you, hearing you laugh, those nights we made love, it's the only life I really want. So if there's something that annoyed you, or disappointed you, or disturbed you, tell me, I won't do it anymore, I'll do anything. Just tell me. Answer me, please.

Levi"

"22nd of October,

Even if you just don't want me anymore, which I'll have to accept, just tell me what went wrong. Don't let me like this, I need to know when and how I hurt you, it's important to me. I won't get angry at you or anything, I'll respect your choice and I'll try to think about what made you leave me. But I won't do better if I don't know where to start, what to improve. And, if you really, really don't want me anymore, I swear I won't purchase you, telling you I changed or anything.

But things can't end like this, for fuck's sake. You can't just disappear and leave me with my doubts like this, especially not during the two next years. I couldn't do anything that justify you to simply evaporate like this? And if I did, I can't be sorry enough, I don't understand how I could mess this up so badly, cause I really, truly love you, crossed-out name, and I never wanted to hurt you, I swear it. Your happiness matters the most, and if it has to be without me, you're the one to decide, but before you leave just explain to me, please. Just one, short answer. I am literally begging you.