Secret Confessions (Book 1)

Angeldust

{WARNING: This chapter has heavy and detailed NSFW content in it! If you do not want to see Alastor or Angeldust... ahem... intimate, please don't read!}

       
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Why does the mere sight of Alastor flushing and on his knees make my balls tighten with arousal? Why is him humping my leg like his life depends on it, so damn hot?

I catch the brief disappointment flashing in his eyes before his expression reverts back to neutral. Well... as neutral as it can be with my venom coursing through him.

Why be disappointed at all that another bite can reverse the effects? Is it possible that he... wanted me to fuck him?

Stop it, Angel! That is utter nonsense. The Radio Demon finds sex repulsive and deplorable.

With that pep talk hardening my resolve, I purse my lips and make a tsking noise. "Do ya want da bite or not Smiles? I don't care either way."

"You have to even ask? Yes I want the bloody bite!" Alastor snaps and shoves himself backward, as if being near me is unbearable.

Standing, Alastor focuses his gaze to the wall behind me and tilts his head back, exposing the side of his neck that isn't bitten. Part of me is hurt that he won't even look me in the eyes, but in a way... I understand.

I took that choice away from him. To sink my fangs into his neck and force him to feel the drugging effects of my venom. All because he pissed me off. To be completely honest, I'm still hurt by what he said before...

That he called me a whore and that he never had feelings for me. I won't deny that wounded part of me wanted to see him hurt. To watch him writhe with helpless need. For him to sample a mere taste of the pain he put me through. To understand the desire I have for him that wasn't returned... wasn't acknowledged.

Keep your attention on the prize. Breaking him!

And break him, I will. I can't allow feelings to get in the way. Al has made it clear how he feels and what he wants. All that matters to him, is my soul. A soul to add to his collection to do his bidding. A means to an end is all I am to him. So, I will do the same.

I will give Alastor exactly what he wants. Even if it means doing horrific favors and never having desire or love reciprocated.

My heart shatters at the thought. To get him to break, I can't let anything get in the way. But afterwards? It's going to be difficult. It's true that I tend to fall hard and fast, but once I am, it takes a long time to recover.

Breaking the contract with Val trumps over being in love with Alastor. It's more important.

Straightening my shoulders, I take a step forward and reach up to brush away the hair on his neck. His visible flinch is like a punch to the gut.

Keep it together!

Making sure venom coats my fangs, I bite down gentler this time, but still deep enough for my venom to enter his bloodstream. Pulling away, I notice his posture relaxing instantly. The effects are wearing off.

"Am I to assume this task is done with?" He rasps and all I can do is nod.

Without another word, Alastor turns and stomps toward the door, slamming it shut behind him. He doesn't snap his fingers to put a new shirt on, doesn't take off the leash or collar, doesn't check to see if anyone is in the hallway, he just leaves in defeat.

Trudging to my bed, I curl into a ball under the fluffy pink blankets. This morning was a win. I almost broke Alastor.

So... why do I feel like I lost?