Secret Confessions (Book 1)

Alastor

It's Saturday night and I can't seem to focus on the demon writhing on the cold metal table, begging for his life as I dismember him slowly. His tortured screams should bring me immense joy and pleasure. Screams of the damned has been and always will be music to my ears.

So, why can't I enjoy the torture I'm inflicting?

"Scream all you want dear, no one is around to hear it," I chuckle into the microphone attached to the top of my staff. "Well, no one except my delightful audience tuning in this evening."

A red blinking light on my microphone confirms that I'm live and my grin stretches even wider. A sinister and menacing promise that nothing will be found in this basement, but unimaginable pain.

I push away the memory of Angel's distraught expression from weeks ago, and return my attention to the blubbering demon.

"Do ya even want ta be with me anymore?" Angel's voice pierces through the bloodlust, echoing obnoxiously in my head as I take up a sharp butcher knife.

Shut up! I seethe in my head, but my mind replays our conversation on a loop.

Thud! I slam the knife down, blade slicing through a finger. Hot black blood spurts from the severed digit and the scream of agony that follows, almost drowns out his voice. Almost.

"Ya don't want ta be seen togetha' in da hotel. Ya flinch when I lean in fer a kiss. Ya barely even touch me!"

Shut up!

Thud!

"I thought I was okay with this, but I'm not. I... I can't be yer shameful secret. I'd call myself a side piece, but I'm not gettin' any action! I get nothin' from ya! No affection whatsoeva'!"

Shut up!

Thud! More screams, but I don't hear them. I can only hear Angel.

"We've been togetha' fer weeks. Weeks! And ya hardly even look at me!"

"Shut up." I mumble, slamming the knife down forcefully.

Thud!

"I'll do a favor if ya request it from me, but I can't do this anymore. I refuse ta be with someone who doesn't want me."

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up." I chant, eyes embarrassingly glossing over.

"I'm sorry, Smiles. I'll see ya around da hotel."

Thud!

"SHUT UP!" I scream, clutching the knife in my fist and redirecting it to plunge repeatedly into the demons chest.

I know I'm stabbing at a gurgling mass of unrecognizable flesh and bone. The victim is long gone, but I can't stop.

An icy hand has me flinching away from the gentle touch and I look over my shoulder to see one of my entities calmly looking at me. No smile, only narrowed eyes. Almost calculating.

Wiping furiously at my eyes, I force a smile and boast brightly. "I hope you enjoyed the show, my dears. I know I did. Stay tuned."

I cringe at the noticeable rasp in my tone as I press the button on the side of my staff, taking me off the air. How pathetic. An Overlord getting choked up over an ex-pornstar. A spider that asked too much from me. I've been distant with Angel because I haven't dated since Anthony.

Having supper dates with Anthony's favorite food, and occasionally dancing on the roof with Angel felt... wrong. It felt incredibly nice, but also wrong.

I wanted to get to know Angel better, not just from bits of memories I've seen, which are truly awful to witness. Savage beatings from his father, harsh words with his brother, and standing by a freshly dug grave from his mother's murder. It's no wonder he is the way he is. Some small part of me feels empathetic.

But, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to let go of Anthony. He was my first and only love. I care for Angel, I truly do. It hurts that he essentially broke things off.

My emotions are so messed up, I'm not sure how to feel. Everything right now is too complicated.

I don't do complicated.

I suppose it's good that Angel walked away. Gives me more time to myself. Time to enjoy my nightly hunting prowls and put more effort into coming up with more creative ways to tear apart my victims on my Radio show.

I need to reorganize my library and prepare to go above to retrieve my mother's Grimore of black magic. The upcoming Overlord Ball is in two months, and I need to remain focused on my plan. It's been years in the making, but I finally have all I need to garuntee my plan a success.

The only piece missing?

Mother's Grimore.

It contains the forbidden spell I require. It had to stay in the mortal realm to keep it from falling into the wrong hands in Hell.

I will see this plan through, and there will be no distractions.

Angel's tearful eyes rise in the back of my mind and my eyebrows knit together in fury as I shove the memory down deep.

I said no Distractions!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note:

Hey guys, I know it's short, but I wanted to put up a chapter of Alastor to delve into why he was so distant with Angel and how he's currently feeling at the moment. Don't worry though, things get juicy in the next chapter.