Paper Hearts

𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥 ℂ𝕣𝕪

Chapter 23: Silent Cry

A sniff in the darkness. Someone groaning and the ruffling of sheets. "Lex?" Sam whispered, his voice husky from sleep. The body beside him was shaking, shoulders hunched and legs folded into their chest. "Lex, I know you're awake. What's wrong?"

Lex turned around, squinting in the dark to see his best friend. "I'm fine."

Sam sighed and pulled Lex towards his chest, letting him go again as soon as his skin came in contact with his. He frowned, feeling the hot skin of his forehead. "Lex, you're burning up." He mumbled, worried.

Soon, the lights were on and he had a bowl of cold water with a wash cloth in it. It was the middle of the night, near 2am. Everything around the house was quiet, and you could hear the occasional late driver zoom past in the distance.

"We shouldn't have gone for that walk." Lex tried to glare at him through his hooded eyes, shivering under the blanket Sam had placed on top of him. His skin was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his face and ears flushed a deep red.

"I said I didn't want to, look at the result." He spoke weakly into the stuffy air of his room. His voice sounded strained and his body seem to drain of energy very quickly. Sam had a sympathetic expression on his face, looking away from his best friend and patting him on the stomach as if to say "Sorry".

He stood up again, looking in the bathroom and kitchen cabinets for any medicines that he could feed Lex. When he found it, he filled a glass with water and brought it to Lex, who swallowed it painfully slow and turned on his side, away from his friend, falling into a deep sleep, mumbling words and shivering the entire time.

Someone was running their cool hand into his hair. It felt comforting, slowly forcing him to wake from his slumber. He groaned lowly, blearily blinking away his sleep. His vision was still blurry when he opened his eyes, trying to focus on the face that was situated to his side. The light was bright in his eyes, making it hard for him to actually keep his eyes open.

When his eyes focused though, Lex was startled to see Fern next to him, hand still in his hair. He had a small smile, as if hesitant to even be this close to him. "What are- Fern?" But he didn't move away from Fern's touch.

"Lex." Fern whispered. "I missed you." His hand didn't still from running through his hair, his smile stretching when Lex moved closer to him. Maybe it was Lex being sick, but he didn't care at that moment about whatever influenced his decisions. He leaned closer, going to peck his forehead when Lex moved away, facing the opposite direction.

A deep twinge was felt in his chest, making his next few breaths hard to take in. "I, um, don't want to make you... sick." It sounded like a pathetic excuse, but he took it, gaslighting himself into feeling unaffected by his actions.

Fern held onto his chin, gently drawing his attention back to him, forcing eye contact between them that made Lex sweat with nervousness, disguised by the heat his fever was supposed to make him feel. "I'm just glad to see you again." And the smile on his face showed it too. "Why..." He gulped down a sob. "Why did you start avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?"

Lex avoided his gaze, eyes bouncing from one place to another around his room. "Where's, uh, Sam. And Lexis?"

"Sam went... home and Lexis and Nathan went for a walk." He breathed in deeply through his nose. "Lex, answer me. Why?"

Lex sighed, going over everything and telling Fern about how he felt towards Anastasia's death and how it was all his fault. Maybe if he hadn't gone on that trip, some irresponsible baby-sitter wouldn't have been taking care of his baby.

"Lex..." That pity on his face... It made him feel horrible, like some weak puppy that was kicked out to the road with no owner to take care of them. He didn't need the sympathy people were showing him; he needed his niece back. But he knew that was impossible. "Her death wasn't your fault. It isn't. Don't-"

"No," Lex cut in. "It is my fault. If I didn't go on that stupid trip, then Anastasia's death would never have happened."

Fern moved both his hands away from Lex, an expression of hurt and offence making an appearance on his face. "You think... the trip was a mistake?"

Lex seemed to realized his mistake, shaking his head and reaching for Fern. "No that's-"

Fern's face remained stoic, hands in fists in his pockets, as if he didn't want to show Lex how troubled that had made him. "I thought that trip was one of the best things that I'd gotten to experience. I thought that maybe the feeling was mutual."

"It is! It really is. Fern, I'm sorry." He struggled to get up, pulling Fern towards him, face just inches away from his. "I did enjoy that trip. You wanna know why?" One of his hands found itself behind his neck, the other on his chest where he felt Fern's heartbeat as it steadily rose. "Because I got to spend it with you. All of you. Anastasia's death devastated me, but that doesn't change my... Love for you."

He moved even closer, their noses brushing against each other, making them share breaths as he leaned into him. "I sound so confusing right now, but it's true."

Fern just stared at him, taking in the sight of him so close after such a long time of being so far apart. His hands had found their way around his waist, thumbs rubbing along his hip and listening attentively. "I love you so, so much." Lex whispered.

"Kiss me already."

Lex smiled and complied, moving closer and brushing their lips in the slightest of contact. Fern got impatient with his teasing, connecting their lips on his own and enjoying how soft it felt against his own lips. It reminded him so much of the first time they were this close, sharing breaths and moving against each other.

Maybe their meeting was a little rushed, but he was glad it all led to so much more.

"You're going to get sick. I did warn you." Fern smiled down at him, his hands toying with his hair while his other arm held him tightly around his waist. He nodded, pulling the boy closer and kissing him just below his hairline.

"I know." He peppered kisses from his temple, over his brows, across his cheeks and on the corner of his lips. "It's fine though." He brought the boy closer to his chest, resting his chin on his head and sighed.

Lex hummed against his chest, tightening his hold around the older boy's waist while he tangled their legs further. "I missed you."