ᴏᴘᴘᴏsɪᴛᴇs ᴀᴛᴛʀᴀᴄᴛ- ʀɪɴᴛᴀʀᴏᴜ sᴜɴᴀ

suna rintarou's love letter

(song: Øneheart & Reidenshi - Snowfall )

Dear (y/n),

I actually hate writing. I don't enjoy English class at all. Well, I hate all my classes but English has to be one of my least favourites. So don't expect this to be anything too amazing, I'm definitely nothing close to a linguist or author.

But I just wanted to tell you how I feel, I'm too awkward to say this all in person. I'd either go all red-faced and shy away, or start crying in the process of speaking.

So I figured writing it down would be my best bet. Plus, I don't even have to send this after I've written it, and you don't have to read it.

When I first met you, I thought you were scary. You were and still are the most intimidating person I've ever spoken to, but I wasn't going to let that show because I thought you were so gorgeous. I wanted to get your number so badly and just talk to you, find out what's going on in your head, find out everything there is to know.

So when you blew me off, I went to Atsumu. I knew you were friends, he'd mentioned you loads before but I'd never really been listening. I don't often listen to him, his voice can be so annoying.

I feel like this might make you angry, but he told me a lot about you. Of course, my first question was something along the lines of, "Why is she always so angry?", and I think the explanation he gave was genuine, I guess you could be the judge of that if you asked him. I'm not going to relay a story to you that you already know.

At the hands of other people, it sounded like your heart had been shattered over and over again. The way he described it, I completely understood why you don't want to be involved with anyone else, and why you probably don't want to fall deeply for anyone ever again.

But I am falling for you, so fast. I know its easier to put up your walls and block out love, to protect your heart from even the slightest risk of being damaged again. I've learnt though, that nothing grows when you close yourself off from opportunity. I promise, you're capable and so so deserving of giving and receiving love, despite everything that might've happened. I just wanna show you that. 

I don't think carrying the weight of your past makes you defective. I mean, maybe you disagree, but when don't we disagree? I'd never try to outsmart you, although I like it when we get into passionate debates and you get a little angry, because at the end of the day, I know we'd always come to an agreement.

Anyway, even if right now, you feel like you can't love yourself, that doesn't mean that nobody else can love you. I love you. I love you so much and I'd tell you every single day if it wouldn't make you physically wince from the embarrassment. I know you know it though.

Before all this stalker madness went down, my worst nightmare was probably something to do with public humiliation. I have quite a lot of fear surrounding other people's opinions.

I've no idea what your worst nightmare was, but even if it isn't to do with everything that happened, I still think you're so brave. I think its brave that you can get up, get ready, go to school and see and interact with your friends normally. You can challenge anyone you want to, without hesitation. But I think its most brave that you choose to move forward each time you wake up, and I'm so glad you choose me to stay alongside you.

Ever since then, ever since you started choosing me, I've changed. I see everything in a different light, I see my future, I see my aspirations, I see my dreams, and I see you in all of them. You've genuinely claimed a place in my heart. Sometimes, I sit at home and I think about you. Just little things like, 'I wonder if she's reading the book she bought the other day' or 'I wonder if she's trying new recipes'.

It makes me happy, thinking about you being happy. I think that's called living vicariously. But to be honest, I feel like I'm just so connected with you that I don't really get a say in whether I want to feel that way or not.

My Mum said she feels like we balance each other out. She said she can see how melodramatic and extra I can be, and the way that your firmness just evens that out. To be honest, its the best kind of love I think you could feel. It just feels so right, so fulfilling. I never felt that something was missing, but then being with you, I realised there might've been something, something that you filled. Or maybe you just added something else so significant to my life, that it felt like I should've had it the whole time.

And my Grandma, well she likes to think she's very in tune with her spiritual side. Recently, she asked me if I thought I'd met my twin flame. I was like, "What the fuck are twin flames?". She told me it was two souls who are meant to be together. You feel intense attraction shared between the two of you, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Even separation isn't forever if you've truly met your twin flame. Maybe you're my twin flame. What do you think?

Everything about you is perfect. I wouldn't change a thing. You are so beautiful princess. Your eyes are so pretty, lips so smooth and sweet, skin so glowy and soft. I love the way you do your hair, although it kinda confuses me when you ask me to pass you a product and I have no idea what it is. (wtf is a serum???)

Please never change. Never change the way you act, the way you speak, the way you smile with those smile lines and warm cheeks. Never change your laugh, even though it scares me, never change anything that you might deem undesirable. Even though I think you're perfect as you are, if you did change, I'd still love you all the same.

We could build a life together. I wouldn't want it any other way, or with anyone else. I think you're the one for me, because when I see you I smile and I know that you know its because I love you and only you. I always will, even if I lose you, you'll be in my heart always and forever.

Love,

Rin ♡