Black Strings: Threads of Revenge

Repeat

The cool winter air passes through the streets. Nothing fills the silence between them. Tommy holds an object in one of his pocketed hands. His eyes were fixated on the street in front of his feet. His feet practically moved on their own. Benjamin walks beside him.

"Are you alright, Tommy"? Benjamin asks. Tommy nods. "You can tell me if there is anything wrong, alright," Benjamin reassures as he wraps his arm around Tommy's waist.

Why does Benjamin care about me? I committed crimes. I've killed complete strangers out of uncontrollable anger. I killed because I saw red, because of black-out rage. He's probably going to leave me once he learns about the things I did.

"I know you're taking me back to the hotel, but can we take a quick pit stop at that store?" Tommy asks as he points to one, keeping one hand in his pocket. "Go ahead". Benjamin says. "I'll wait here for you to be done." He leans against the wall and closes his eyes.

Tommy looks at the ground and mutters, "Is the bathroom unlocked"? "It sure is." The clerk says. Tommy heads inside and closes the door behind him. He sits on the floor and covers his ears. Tears pour out.

I'm getting worse. I need sleep. I want to escape my thoughts.

Tommy reaches out of his chest and rips his soul out of his body with startling ease. His essence tie flops out of his body seconds later.

I can't take these thoughts. I thought I was getting better. The past is too much. Everything is too loud.

Tommy starts counting. "1, 2, 3... 25, 26, 27.. 49, 50, 51..." He mutters, going higher and higher. "301, 302, 303... 325, 326, 227... 349, 350, 351... 373, 374, 375".

At 408 Tommy grabs his soul and slams it back inside of him. He rushes to the toilet. Blood and excess essence spew from his mouth.

Again, again, again, again. Why am I doing this again? I attempted to take my own life again. I need help, I need help, I need help, and I don't know where to start. 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3. Round and round like a never-ending wheel on a terrible cycle. Thinking I was doing better, just for the negatives to take control and give me the thoughts of wanting to end this all. Here comes my soul as I rip it out of my body.

Tommy coughs up more. Hair catching some of it. No one to hold it back for him.

The rushing of blood and essence comes once I finally bring it back inside my body.

More comes up. Grief and regret have had more than enough time to set in.

What have I done to put myself in this horrendous cycle? Six years of this. Nine years of knowing. Far too long have I done this. I need true change.

"Are you alright in there, sir"? The clerk asks. "I'm doing good, just feeling sick, that's all." Tommy lied.

A small amount of blood and essence were the last to leave him. His shaky legs bring him up. He wobbles over to the sink to wash his face. The boiling water stings the fingers and face, for his body has warmed. He drys his face with toilet paper.

Leaving the bathroom, Tommy grabs a bottle of water. "How much"? Tommy asks, setting it down on the counter. "Three gold". The clerk answers. Tommy sets three gold coins on the counter and leaves. Anger toward himself has set in.

"Are you sure you are doing alright? You honestly look terrible". Benjamin asks. Tommy keeps his mouth shut before and after taking a sip of water. Tommy shoves the bottle into his pocket and starts walking.

Benjamin looks at Tommy briefly before looking away like a puppy that did something bad. Like a fidgety habit, Benjamin cleans out the undersides of his nails, scraping the black gunk away with his thumbnails.