Ch 16

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John sat at his desk in his home office, surrounded by all the baby gear he had purchased over the past few weeks. He looked down at himself, wearing girl clothes and a diaper. He couldn't help but smile as he realized how comfortable he felt in these clothes. They made him feel free to express himself in ways that he couldn't before.

However, his family was still struggling to accept this side of him. They wouldn't understand why he was enjoying dressing up in girly outfits. John knew that it was hard for them, but he also knew that he couldn't just ignore this part of himself.

He decided to change into his pajamas for the night, a pink and white striped onesie with little bunnies on it. He loved how soft and cozy it was. It made him feel safe and comforted, like he was being held by a loving mother.

As he rummaged through his drawers, he found a pacifier, some toys, and stuffed animals. He couldn't resist picking them up and playing with them. It was as if a switch had flipped inside him, and he slipped into little space without even realizing it.

He put the pacifier in his mouth and set up a fake business meeting with his stuffed animals, pretending they were clients. He was giggling and cooing to them, completely forgetting about his adult stresses. For a few hours, he was just a happy little kid, and it felt amazing.

But as the night wore on, he began to feel guilty. He knew that his family wouldn't approve of this, and he didn't want to disappoint them. He took out the pacifier and put away the toys, trying to shake off the feeling of shame that had settled over him.

He knew that he couldn't keep this side of himself hidden forever, but he also didn't want to cause any more pain for his loved ones. It was a difficult balancing act, and he wasn't sure how to navigate it.


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