The Schmidt Diaries

5/24/15, 10:25 PM

Well, today wasn't that bad. Sure enough, Macey made us pancakes this morning. I don't know how she does it, but her doughy circles of deliciousness always seem to make me smile even in the deepest of funks. She claims her secret ingredient is 'love', but I always tell her to cut the crap. She never fails to throw something at me afterwards. This time, it was a strawberry.

After breakfast, I got ready for my job at the local burger joint, "Patty's". Such a clever name, I know, but it's a classic location here at Scottsdale. Plus, they were hiring, and it helped I had quite an experience at another certain restaurant. Of course, being a security guard and a fry cook are two different things entirely. Nevertheless, I got a job quite easily. It's minimum wage, yeah, but at least it's something. And I feel bad making Macey earn all the dough.

I worked from 10 am to 4 pm, which wasn't as bad as it could be. Last Saturday, I worked a whopping 10 am to 10 pm! To say my back was killing me was an understatement...

I gotta say, my coworkers are actually pretty cool. To name a few, there's this girl named Claire that's a junior in high school. She's very tall for her age, and she has bleach blonde hair that's so short, she could pass as Miley Cyrus if she wanted to.

Then there's this guy named Jim. He's in his mid-twenties and an immigrant from Africa. His accent is pretty thick, so he's a bit hard to understand sometimes; however, he's still a nice guy, as long as you stay on his good side.

Finally, there's Thomas. He's a senior in high school and about to graduate in less than a week. I'm not sure what his plans are afterwards, but I can only assume he'll try and go to college. I honestly would've tried to go to college, myself, but what place could possibly accept a 21-year-old high school dropout?

When I finally got home, I just plopped right onto my bed and closed my eyes. I was still a bit tired from my decision to stay up late last night, so I tried to compensate the best I could. And I probably could've stayed asleep for hours, but, unfortunately, Macey got me up at around 7 pm. She said she didn't want me to not be tired and stay up late again. She was also kind enough to mention that if I wanted to have a sleeping habit like that, I should just get another job where I work the night shift. If that's not motivation to get my sleeping schedule in place, I don't know what is.

Our dinner, as always, consisted of frozen pizzas. I was slowly starting to enjoy pizza again, but I try to stick to no meat as a topping. After learning what was really in the Children's Pleaser at the Freddy Fazbear's Pizza in Wisconsin, I decided I might just become a vegetarian. But, common sense took over and I realized I still love other meats, just not...THAT...meat.

I should try and get some rest, since Macey and I plan to visit Grandpa tomorrow for Memorial Day, but I just can't sleep. I just know I'll have another nightmare. But I can't stay up all night again; Macey when she's pissed can be scarier than the thought of being stuffed into an animatronic suit! Not to mention I think it's 'that time of the month'...good God, I'd say nothing is scarier than that!

I guess I'll just have to suck it up; if I have a nightmare, so be it. I know it's just a dream and nothing will hurt me. I mean, it's not like it's 'A Nightmare on Elm Street'!

All I can say before I try to sleep is that I really hope I can just get Freddy, Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, and Golden Freddy out of my mind. Of course, what are the odds of that?

-Mike