richie tozier angst oneshots.

3 - why rich

dont come at me because of any mistakes please- this was originally a notes draft and i copy/pasted it to wattpad

    Richie woke up to someone shaking him violently, he heard muffled crying and shouting but was too disoriented to hear it clearly or understand what it was. His eyes cracked open slightly, and he saw Stanley shaking him with tears running down his face. Bill and Beverly were behind him crying and panicking as stanley fearfully forced richie awake.

    When they had noticed he was awake their faces went from panicked to worried to angry to plain depressed in just a matter of seconds. Richie looked down at his arms and realized they had been cleaned and messily bandaged. Didn’t stop them from feeling like hell, though.

    “Why, Rich. Why would you do it?”
    He looked up at Stanley as his vision began to blur, he could only manage to get out the word “sorry” until he broke down in tears.

    Stan quickly grabbed richie in a tight hug as the boy just melted into him weakly, choking on sobs. Beverly came over immediately and rubbed his back comfortingly as the boy sobbed into Stan’s chest.

    He was trembling horribly as he wrapped his arms around stan tightly, never wanting to let go. Every time the losers were around he couldn’t help but feel happy, feel like he belonged. He felt safe with the losers, comforted simply by their presence.

    Stanley sat with Richie trembling in his arms as he listened to the loud horrible sobs coming from richie. this wasn’t the richie they knew. this was some sort of broken richie. one they had never seen, who was always masked by richie’s seemingly happy personality. beverly continued to rub his back soothingly and bill cooed him quietly.

    richie felt like such an inconvenience to the three, but he couldn’t help it, he just couldn’t control himself. he knew he needed to cry, for he’d been holding it in all too long. but now he’d laid his problems onto stan bev and bill, who probably didn’t want to deal with him. that just made him more upset, which made him cry harder.

    After a while richie had become too weak to cry anymore, so he just laid into stanley’s chest shaking slightly. Eventually, he’d fallen asleep, and beverly noticed how his breathing had calmed down and was much quieter. she’d assumed richie had fallen asleep since he was hardly moving at all besides his back rising and lowering in sync with his breathing. she informed stanley, who picked him up and laid him on the bed, careful not to drop him.

    bill and stanley had left richie’s house, as they’d both been holding off something to take care of richie—that and they didn’t want richie to feel overwhelmed with so many people around him. beverly had stayed to watch over him and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid when he wakes up.

…

    When richie woke up he found himself in his bed, wrapped comfortably in a blanket. He looked up to see beverly on her phone (yes they have modern phones in 1989 it’s my writing), apparently texting someone. She lowered her phone and looked at richie, realizing he’s awake. she smiled sweetly. “Feel any better?” she put a hand gently on his shoulder.

    He sighed through his nose and looked down, not wanting to speak. He nodded his head slowly as it hung low. She squeezed his shoulder lightly and wrapped her arms around him comfortingly. Richie coughed slightly and lifted himself onto his knees, leaning against beverly’s chest as she held him gently.

    “Mmhm..” richie finally mumbled, though it was almost too quiet for beverly to hear. She smiled to herself and gave a small laugh through her nose, relieved that richie was doing a bit better.

    “i’m sorry,” richie whispered, almost so quiet beverly couldn’t hear him at all. it took her a moment to make out the words that had come from richie. when she realized what he’d said she squeezed him comfortingly, shaking her head.

    “don’t be,” she replied softly. “you can’t control your emotions.”

    “well technically i can, i just failed today.”

    “don’t say that, please. you don’t have to hide your emotions when you’re in front of us, we’ll always be here for you,” beverly said quietly, hardly over a whisper. she gave richie a small reassuring smile, which he returned.

    beverly pulled out of the embrace and laid herself onto richies bed, pulling richie up to her chest. (NOT A SHIP DONT COME AT ME WITH PITCHFORKS AND TORCHES PLS 🙏🙏) he laid his head onto her chest and the two stayed like that peacefully, not a word shared between them.

    eventually richie looked up at beverly, who looked right back at him. he sighed through his nose and laid his head back onto beverly’s chest.

    “hey, bev?”

    “yeah?”

    “can i tell you something,”

    “go ahead.”

    richie took a deep breath, and reminded himself that this was beverly, and beverly wasn’t going to yell or get mad at him.

    “the reason i don’t tell you guys about how i really feel,” he began, and he could feel beverly perk up, suddenly a lot more interested in what he was gonna say. “i feel like such a..burden..all the time. i feel like i’m laying my problems onto you guys and you really don’t give to fucks if i’m okay or not. like i’m just some annoying kid who you all wish would just go die. all i am to you guys is comedic relief, and i don’t actually matter to you all, and…” richie trailed off as his voice broke. tears welled up in his eyes.

    “and i wish i could just fucking end it all sometimes..” he felt something in his hair and looked up to beverly, who had tears spilling from her eyes.

    “woah—woah! are you okay?” richie sat up and looked at beverly worried. “i-i’m sorry, i didn’t mean-“

    “i am so sorry you feel that way, i..i never knew…” she wiped her face with the back of her hand and sniffed. “rich, you are truly so much more to us than some annoying kid who we use for comedic relief. we all love you so so so fucking much, rich, you don’t understand. if you really did..take your life.. one day, that would break us so much, richie. we all love you so so so so so much rich, i..i can’t understand what life would be like without your stupid your mom jokes, your shitty humor, your dumb glasses..you in general. you shouldn’t feel like you have to bottle up all that pain, just come to one of us and let it all out, because i promise you, we’ll be there.” she sat up and hugged richie, who now had tears spilling from his eyes. he hugged her back tightly and they stayed like that for a good while.

    richie sniffed, pulling away from the hug. “thank you,” he whispered. beverly smiled an nodded, a hint of worry still evident in her eyes.

    “don’t worry,” richie reassured her, catching her slightly by surprise. “i’ll be okay.”