The leaves in the fall, summer, spring, or even winter — shed without so much as a second glance.
The moment something changes around me, everyone notices it.
I washed my sheets.
She wouldn't know.
He'd forget tomorrow — or so I hoped.
—-
Liam liked me more than I thought he did. So much more and it was almost scary how much he liked me.
It didn't feel like love was what we made — more like an urgent deed, like he wanted me to feel bad afterwards.
I didn't have much heart for my mother, but I was now thinking it was wrong to be doing this when she was married to him.
The fact that Charlie Bee James was his daughter bothered me more, now, too. So much more, and it was consuming me.
I almost felt disgusting, and I didn't really know who I was — I started to question the things I once wanted.
The things that I used to want.
Would it matter that I dated Tyler Kidd all throughout high school when it was over?
I'd always regret cheating on him, though I never really found him important. No one was important. I cared about self-exploits — like it was some type of disease.
I wanted it gone.
I scratched the tops of my arms a few times, where I sat.
I'm in the library at school, I thought.
People were staring at me. The people that were staring — I didn't know their last names. Some of them, I only knew their faces.
How would anyone know?
I was breathing heavily, but it wasn't like anyone could read my thoughts. I had sex with my step-father, but only he and I knew that.
No one else.
I felt psychotic, repeating those words in my head.
No one else.
I knew it couldn't happen again. It was a one-time thing. Liam wasn't what I needed. I didn't even want him.
Not anymore.
I couldn't remember why I wanted him at the beginning or what made him special—what made me think I loved him?
YOU ARE READING
Why She Was In Denial
Nouvelles"Everything begins with a lining of some sort. You take your pencil, and you draw where your mind takes you - wherever it leads. You draw here, there, then a big circle around it. Or perhaps an oval. A square wouldn't do, as a square has corners. L...
