Storytime: Macbeth

Chapter 10: Act 5

Act 5

Once the bathtub had cooled down, Jamie and Samantha had taken it to the kitchen and put off dealing with it until a more convenient time. But not all the evidence could be so easily disposed of.

"You couldn't find a stepladder, then?" Samantha asked.

"Neither hide nor hair of one," Jamie replied despondently. "But I wouldnae have let you climb it anyway."

"I'd have been happy to let you go up. I could have stood at the bottom and enjoyed the view."

They looked up again at the scorch mark on the ceiling.

"Face it," Samantha said. "We're not getting that cleaned up. It wouldn't be a soap and water job even if we could get up there."

Jamie sighed. "We'll jist have tae get on wi' the story and hope we finish before Izzy comes back..."

[Act 5, Scene 1. Dunsinane. Ante-room in the castle. Enter a Doctor of Physic and a Waiting-Gentlewoman.]

Fifth Doctor :
So, you say she's been sleepwalking?

Martha / Gentlewoman :
Ever since her husband went away. Up and down all night, writing nonsense on bits of paper.

Fifth Doctor :
Does she say anything?

Martha / Gentlewoman :
Yeah. But you wouldn't believe me if I told you what.

[Enter Lady Macbeth with a taper.]

Martha / Gentlewoman :
There you are. Now you can see for yourself.

Fifth Doctor [trying very hard to keep his expression solemn] :
Well I never did. Tegan playing Lady Macbeth. Who'd have thought it?

[Lady Macbeth frowns, but manages to retain the appearance
of sleepwalking.]

Martha :
If you think there's something funny about the casting don't bother to notice which one of us actually has proper medical qualifications, and which one of us ends up playing the maid. Again.

Fifth Doctor [whose mind was apparently elsewhere] :
What?

[Lady Macbeth frowns again, and taps her foot on the floor.]

Martha :
Oh, nothing. Let's get on with it.

Fifth Doctor :
You're sure she's asleep?

Martha / Gentlewoman :
Positive. She don't notice a thing. [She waves her hand in front of Lady Macbeth's face; no response.]

Tegan / Lady Macbeth [making handwashing motions] :
Yet here's a spot. Out, damned spot; out, I say. What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account? Yet who would have thought the old man to have so much blood in him?

Fifth Doctor [scribbling frantically on a notepad] :
This is all fascinating.

Tegan / Lady Macbeth [still handwashing] :
The Thane of Fife had a wife. Where is she now? What, will these hands ne'er be clean?

Fifth Doctor [to Martha] :
I think you'd better forget this. You have known what you should not.

Martha / Gentlewoman :
She has spoke what she should not, I am sure of that.

Tegan [suddenly fully compos mentis] :
I'll have you know I'm following the script to the letter.

Martha / Gentlewoman :
Look, I didn't mean it like that...