The Expansion of the Universe

Twenty-Eight | "I don't support animal abuse."

"Are you sure that's not burning?" Liza asked, trying to hide the mischief in her voice as she watched Elijah drop the broccoli he'd been chopping in a panic and whirl around to check on the sauce he had simmering on her stove.

He stirred the sauce, ignoring her for several minutes as he investigated it closely, before his shoulders slumped and he turned back to her with an exaggerated pout. "Nancy," he sighed loudly, "that was easily the meanest thing anyone has done to me ever in my whole entire life since forever."

She was no longer able to stifle her wicked grin. "Sorry," she lied.

"You're not," he complained, wiggling the spoon at her in some semblance of a scolding. "Honestly, babe, what kind of welcome home is this? You didn't even give me a hug." He peeked over the counter, caught Milo's eyes, and told the dog, "You can't just let her get away with this, you know. This is unacceptable."

Liza snorted. "Milo is always on my side in arguments, Elijah. Plus, I did give you a hug." She'd had to practically force herself not to sprint out the door and to his side the second he'd pulled into his driveway. Thankfully, he hadn't made her wait long, and had run to her door, embracing her tightly the instant she tugged it open.

"It wasn't long enough," Elijah explained over his shoulder, already focusing on his sauce again. "It was only thirty-three seconds long, and I expect a 'welcome home, Elijah, I missed you so much' embrace to be no less than one-hundred and fifty seconds."

Her mouth fell open. "That's over two minutes long."

"Exactly." He was nonplussed.

"Elijah!" she protested, but he didn't even bother to turn around and address her further. Instead, he simply said, "It's what's expected, my Liza."

Deciding not to attempt to argue further, she changed topics. "Elijah?"

"Hm?"

"Did you drop off Austin's groceries?" After hanging up on her, he had arrived back at his home within twenty minutes, and she didn't think that was nearly enough time for him to stop by Austin's, but she wasn't totally sure where Austin lived, so maybe—

His deep laugh cut off her thoughts. "No, doll, I didn't," he said, his grin wide and toothy. "I wanted that hug a hell of a lot."

Liza blinked, stunned. "So . . . uh, what about Austin's groceries?"

"What about them?" he returned, the sparkle in his eyes informing her that he knew perfectly well how difficult he was being.

"Doesn't he, uh, need them?"

"Maybe," Elijah returned, still not sounding the least bit concerned, "but he'll get them when he gets them. It's not my fault he's sick, anyway. He probably went out somewhere and then didn't wash his hands for like three days."

"Ew," she wrinkled her nose. Right after the accident, when she'd been stuck in a depressive hole, she hadn't exactly been a role model for good hygiene, but she'd at least completed the basics, like washing her hands and brushing her teeth.

"Oh, I know," Elijah agreed, "Disgusting. Thank God I never did that."

There was a long, drawn-out pause as she gazed at the back of his T-shirt and tried to determine how truthful he was being. Finally, she announced, "You're totally lying."

Elijah refused to turn and make eye contact, which was an answer in itself.

She laughed brightly, noting in the back of her mind that it was nice to experience joyous emotions like laughter so freely, like she had before her entire world had changed.