My Love//JJ MAYBANK

Lighthouse and swimming

We all get out of the van, im last as I stumbled a little bit when climbing over the seat... but I made it and that's all that matters.

I walk over to the others to see they were all already stopped walking and looking at the Lighthouse.

I place myself under JJs left arm and he side hugs me.

John B turns around and says,
"Alright, so here's whats gonna happen. You're two are gonna post op and look out for bogeys. Okay?" He tells JJ and I.

"Wait-" I start before JJ finishes what I was going to say anyways.

"Why us?" Is what he asks.

"Because you're not coming." Pope simply says.

"Why the fuck not?" I ask in defense.

"Because. There are independent variables and dependant variables. You guys are independent, we don't know you'll do!" Pope informs us, almost shouting at us near the end.

JJ starts telling Pope to shut up but John B interrupts, while doing so I lace my fingers through JJs and lean into his side.

"Look, pope you stand look out with them, make sure they domt get caught by police because they're fucking. Kie and i will go in. If we split up, we meet back at JJs house." John B says before he leaves not wanting to hear our responses. Kie letting out a "great."

"Dipwad" I call out making sure he heard.

"I'm gonna work on my merit scholarship essay, and im trying to keep felonies down to a minimum.." Pope informs us before he walks to the van while JJ snaps back,
"Alright, will you just shut up already?"

I squeeze his hand and he looks down at me. I look past him at a couple trees and nod my head, silently telling him to go over there. So he does, with his arm still wrapped around my neck, we walk over together in quietness.

I notion for him to sit down so he cleans a spot and does so with his legs bent and his knees are at about a 90° angle. I sit on his lap and grab his hands.

"Whats going on with you?" I ask playing with his rings as his hands rest on my thighs as i play with them.

"What do you mean?" He asks, he seems genuine too.

"Why did you get so offended by that? That stuff usually doesn't bother you." I point out before letting out a breath. I dont want to push anything or say something wrong  because he seems different so I dont know how he'll react.

"I dont know. I guess its all becoming too much, John B has been up our asses lately and I dont see anyone doing anything about it, to be honest when you're not there they kind of all do it, even when you are sometimes too, I guess." He says shrugging at the beginning.

I look down at his hands as I play with them, the feeling of his hands lightly rubbing against my thighs sends shivers up and down my body.

"I'm sorry." I tell him quietly.

"For what?" He asks concerned laced in his voice.

"For not telling them to stop. I noticed in the car ride here they were being assholes and I didn't say anything. I just feel bad knowing I could have done something, I mean it happend like three times." I tell him honestly.

To be fair, I didnt really want to talk that whole car ride because I was still shaking from what had happend at the Chateau, but I should have said something. I noticed the way his faced dropped everytime they would tell him to shut up or talked over him and the way his voice stopped making noise almost instantly when they did that. Now I feel like I failed him. My life, I like spending it with JJ, whether it means, flirting, helping, saving, loving, hanging, or even defending him. Because his presence alone keeps me sane and wanting to stay alive. He is the only thing in the world that matters. 10 times more than anyone else... sadly but true to say, even the pogues. They haven't been here the whole time nor do they know everything about me just by looking at me.  JJ on the other hand, he has had 16+ tears of doing that and i know there is so much more to come along with that.