Not even 24 hours into making this fanfic and it's already got controversy on Twitter! We're famous, motherfuckers!
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"Dude, I lost 10 pounds!" Kyle happily said to his friend group.
"Shit! 10 pounds? How'd you do it?"
"I've been working out every day for two weeks! I calculated the amount of calories going into my body and worked the exact amount off!"
"I tried going to the gym in the middle of a week long fast and passed out on the treadmill," Kenny exclaimed.
"Bro, you're gonna die doing shit like that! If your body doesn't have enough energy, you're gonna pass the fuck out!"
Cartman walked up to the lunch table. He had a humongous tray of food.
"Are you seriously gonna eat that fatass?"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP-"
Kenny quickly responded. "I'll take that!"
"Dude, I thought you were attempting that Jesus fast?"
"It's not for me it's for my family-"
"AYYYY YOU CAN'T JUST BAG UP MY FOOD AND TAKE IT!"
"I'll give some to you later!"
•••
"AYYY WHERE'S THE REST OF MY FOOD??"
"I gave it to my family! I'm helping your insecure ass! Don't you wanna one up Kyle anyways?"
"AYYYY I'm not insecure!"
"When you read the thread calling you a fatass, you went home and started crying to your Barbie dolls!"
"I AM NOT A FATASS!! I'M BIG BONED!!"
"Yeah, big boned in your ass! The rest is straight up lard!"
"AYYYYYYY!!! THATS NOT FUCKING FUNNY!"
•••
"MR. MACKEYYYY THEY'RE CALLING ME A FATTY OINKY OINKY!!"
"Okay, oinky, sit down mkay?"
"AYYYY"
"Who's calling you a fatty oinky oinky?"
"KAHLLLL AND KEHNNY.... They made a thread *cries* on Twitter *cries* and the comments all hated MEEE and were laughing at MEEE"
"Mkay, I'll have a talk with them later. Why does it bother you so much now?"
"Because.... *cries* my mommy always said I'm just big boned but it turns out I'm just FATTT... *cries* and people just see me as an obese chunk of lard and not super toned and buff.. *cries*"
"Well, just because we see you as that now doesn't mean it has to stay that way, mkay? Have you tried a diet?"
"I'M NOT EATING LIKE A FUCKING RABBIT! VEGAN HIPPES ARE ..*cries* so fucking gay."
"You don't have to eat salads for all your meals, mkay? There are a lot of tasty low calorie options out there! One thing I've done to cut out extra sugars is to stick with zero sugar soft drinks."
"Kehnny's already trying to put me on a diet *cries* and he stole my FOODDD *cries* to feed his familyyyy!!"
"You have to understand he's poor, mkay, and needed that extra food. It's good that he's watching your intake. Maybe you could ask him for diet tips, because he knows how to stay thin, mkay?"
•••
I am so seriously done with this bullshit I'll show them I can get skinny if I wahnt!!
"Eric you're home! I bought more cheesy po-"
"NOT HUNGRY MOMM!!"
"Wow... that's a first! Okay honey, I'll feed it to the kitty!"
"NO.. I mean FINE! DO THAT! I DON'T CARE!"
•••
A/N: That whole controversy had me laughing 😭 I hope I make the iceberg with this shit
-Teagan
YOU ARE READING
❝ ɴᴏ ᴋɪᴛᴛʏ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴍʏ ᴅɪᴇᴛ ᴄᴏᴋᴇ! ❞
FanfictionLife gets rough, especially when you're ridiculed for your weight all your life. Kyle posted a thread shaming Cartman on social media. Now the insecurity is eating Eric up (more than he eats). He must take control of his life to prove he is truly ju...
