DISCLAIMER BEFORE I GET CANCELLED: Mentioning of real ED forums does not equal promoting EDs. Thank you.
"I just took the biggest shit, I'm feeling so Coquette Lana del Rey"
Kyle rolled his eyes. "You're the farthest thing from Coquette Lana del Rey."
"Okay Kahl then what's this?"
Cartman pulls out a Diet Coke, rice cakes, and a white Monster Zero.
"Cartman you finally went on a diet!"
"Yeah, a diet pulled straight from MPA!" Kenny remarked.
A look of irritation was on Kyle's face.
"What's MPA?" Butters asked.
"My Penis in your Ass," Cartman remarked.
"Wait really?"
"No Butters he's fucking with you, it's "MyPancakeAddiction" which used to be called "MyProAna" which pretty much is a site for people with eating disorders that don't want to recover and stuff," Stan explained.
"Stan, how exactly do you know that?" Kyle asked with concern.
Stan paused to come up quickly with an answer. He wasn't ready to open up about his internet history yet, especially about something so personal.
"Found it on Shelly's computer once"
"Oh," Kyle laughed with relief, "Okay that makes sense!"
•••
brolimic42: crazy opinion but fatphobes can suck my ass!!!
cartmarexic: yeah cause no one wants to fuck your fat pussy
brolimic42: ik u ain't bmi 37 and taking 💀💀 fat and fatphobic
cartmarexic: I AIN'T FAT IM BIG BONED YOU FUCKING OBESE GREASY BITCH THIS IS WHY NOONE LOVES YOU I ACTIVELY ENCOURAGE YOU TO DROP YOUR PHONE OVER THE BRIDGE AND QUIT TWITTER
brolimic42: wait... is this cartman
•••
"ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! STAY OUT OF MY SPACE!"
"ANYONE CAN JOIN YOU FUCKING-"
"Guys please sit down," PC Principal scolded. So, what's going on that has you both acting so immaturely"
"KAHL FOUND MY TWITTER and showed it to everyone and *cries* they called me gay for my hello kitty header! It's not gay *cries* it's super kewl cause it's so coquette Lana Del Reyyyy!"
"Okay, yeah that is a breach of personal space. Not cool."
"Well, if Cartman didn't want to be discovered on Twitter, he should've made his account more anonymous! You can't blame me for this!"
"Shut the fuck up! I actually can because you found me through your *cries* faggy ED Twitter!"
"Okay, none of you being on a problematic forum like that is okay or acceptable. Both of you need to seek help and accept your bodies for what they are. Here's a form for the NEDA to call their hotline and I will be letting both of your parents know that you're going on these problematic Pro-Ana forums."
"Thanks for ratting BOTH OF US OUT KAHL"
"You basically ratted yourself out fatass"
"AYYYY"
"That language is not acceptable! You both are getting two weeks of detention!"
•••
"Thanks for telling my parents I've got fucking mental illness! Now they're worried shitless!"
"We all knew you had mental illness Kahl. It was obvious."
"Shut the fuck up!"
"Wanna be mutuals?"
"Sure"
•••
A/N: Just got pulled over tonight to Cherry by Lana del Rey. I think I'm living the coquette Americana dream.
YOU ARE READING
❝ ɴᴏ ᴋɪᴛᴛʏ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴍʏ ᴅɪᴇᴛ ᴄᴏᴋᴇ! ❞
FanfictionLife gets rough, especially when you're ridiculed for your weight all your life. Kyle posted a thread shaming Cartman on social media. Now the insecurity is eating Eric up (more than he eats). He must take control of his life to prove he is truly ju...
