Grow Up!

Magic Night

"Jamie."

Jamie held up the joint to his lips. Tonight they chose to stay out longer, longer than usual. And, now the sky was beginning to be swallowed whole by darkness. At least they had the beauty of the moon to look upon with the stars scattering across the sky.

"What?" Jamie finally asked as he held the joint out to his side while exhaling the smoke. Tyler took it but didn't take a drag, not yet. He had a question. "Wouldn't it be funny," Tyler started. "If this was the last night that we did something like this?" The question threw off Jamie a bit. Why would he ask something like that? After all, today they didn't fight nor was there a recent problem that had not been resolved. Maybe it was just becoming a depressed night since they were now in the dark, still in the woods, and feeling that cool air on their skin. It was like they were being cradled by sad lingering thoughts.

"Why do you say that?" Jamie held out his hand for his turn but Tyler held onto it longer. He was fumbling with it while he sat there on the log in thought.

"I don't know." Tyler handed it back to Jamie.

"Is there something you want to talk about?"

Tyler licked his bottom lip, "We're getting so much older... Do you really expect us to always do stuff like this together?" The question made Jamie take a longer drag. It was true that someday they would stop hanging out like this, but did it really mean so soon?

"I don't." Jamie answered. "I mean, I expect us to hang out again after this but I don't expect this to be a forever thing, you know? We'll get old and die eventually. That's just life."

Tyler nodded to that. "Are you saying that we're going to be together until we die, though?" Another question that left Jamie quiet a little longer. It was beginning to creep onto him that it was possible that they wouldn't. Why did Tyler have to do this now?

Jamie switched the joint to his other hand so he could place his hand on Tyler's shoulder and give it a reassuring squeeze. "I just know that if we really do stick together as we grow, we will be together until we die. You got that, man?"

"Yeah, yeah. I do."

"Is there something on your mind?"

Jamie snapped out of his thoughts and lifted his head up from his hand. Across from him was his partner Aiden, they had been dating for a few years now. Tonight was supposed to be a night for them, a night they could go out and have a nice dinner since Jamie's schedule was clear from any upcoming projects. Except when he saw the painting above Aiden's head of the forest during the night, he couldn't help but remember something in his past.

"Just some old friends. How is your pasta?" Jamie asked with a smile. For himself, he was having steak with a side of green beans and mash potatoes. It was delicious. It reminded him of when he was younger when he sat and ate his food with his mom. God, he missed her cooking. So much. 

"It's good, real good." Aiden said. He took his fork and twisted up some of the past and held it up for Jamie to try. And, he did. Jamie thought maybe he should have gotten the shrimp fettuccine to share with him. That would have been real romantic, wouldn't it?

"You have never told me about your little past buddies, what were they like?" Aiden ate some of his pasta while raising his eyebrows at Jamie, anticipating his answer. Aiden was always nosey about Jamie's life but he never really forced him to dive into it if Jamie didn't want to. It's just that Aiden wanted to feel closer to his boyfriend. He wanted to be there in any way possible and right now he most definitely wanted to see why Jamie was so lost in thought about these old friends he had mentioned.

"They were..." Jamie hesitated. "They were fun to be around."

"Oh, yeah? Why's that?"

"Because... They just always managed to make me laugh. They would do these stupid things, especially Tyler. See, he would scream--and, I mean really scream whenever he was losing at something. I swear, he sometimes sounded like a girl when he raged. And then there was Morgan, he would always be buried into his notebook. I never knew what he was writing in there but I knew it had to be something important because we would literally have to beg for him to come out and do something with us. And, he usually would. He was just as dumb as Tyler could be when it came to making me laugh." Jamie said, poking at his food. Recalling what used to be made his chest feel warm and yet so tight.

Aiden noticed the tone of Jamie's voice had changed. "You miss them a lot, don't you?"

"Yeah, just a bit."

"I think a lot."

Jamie didn't answer, he just jabbed his fork into his food and ate it. He chewed longingly just so he could stall an answer to what Aiden had said. He felt silly for wanting to admit something like that, out so loud in a restaurant full of people. Not like they would hear him anyway. But right now Jamie felt very exposed with his feelings about the past.

"Jamie..." Aiden reached across the table to hold his hand, giving it a soft squeeze, a squeeze the reminded him of the way he used to do this to Tyler or Morgan whenever they were at their lowest. "Jamie, why don't you go see them?"

Jamie nearly choked as he swallowed. See them? He thought. The way Aiden's eyes softened as he looked back into Jamie's, it was almost like he could hear Jamie's thoughts of surprise and a hint of cowardliness because a part of him felt embarrassed to go off and do something like that after so long. "You have nothing to do for awhile, I think it would be nice for the both of us to go out and take a trip. Don't you think? Just you and me? Well, just us until I get to meet these friends of yours and see why you love them as much as I love you."

"Aiden."

"Jamie."

Jamie squeezed Aiden's hand back. "I wanted this to be a magic night for us."

Aiden used his other hand to put on top of the hand he was holding. "And, I want to keep the magic going and give you something. I think you deserve it." That's when Jamie could finally smile at his partner. The way he was treated by this man always made him feel so at home, so at peace. He felt that courage he needed.

"Okay." Jamie said. "Let's leave tomorrow. I want to finish this date first."